Judge — May 29, 1897 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“* How comes it,” © That you're in such a place as this is?” I said to the prisoner, “Well,” he said, “I'm a kleptomaniac And did only a retail business.” —Chicago Times-Herald. : 5; , mature reflection the examining committee held Makes you feel like a new person. Abbott's | lowed a nickel.” Pater familias—"* Oh, well, + i i. Genuine Original Angostura Bitters. it won't burt him.” Afaterfamilias—" 1 was fi be eas Hehe se cacare Seening feet A member of the Nebraska legislature pro- to make it a misdemeanor to have more than four aces in a deck of cards. This is the reform for which the world has waited. It is probably too much to expect legislation against five kings and six jacks all at one session.— Buffalo Express. The grandmother of a certain little boy is out of town just now. As the little boy was saying his prayers the other night his mother interrupted his petitions for blessings upon everybody at home with a‘ Don't you think, Bobby, that you ought to pray for grandma's | Teacher—"" James, can you tell me what is ‘meant by a cubic yard?” /ames—"'I don't know exactly, but | suppose it’s a yard that the | Cuban children play in.”"—Beston Traveler, “I may be overcareful,” she said as she hid the plated spoons and ber curling-irons in the eae of her trunk before she went out shup- “+ but [ just cant bear to run any risks * rhea she pinned her gold watch to the outside of her dress by a blue ribbon and went down town.—Detroit Free Press. Mater fumilias—* John, the baby 's swal- It is a shame to deceive the American public with cheap, spurious imitations. Insist on hav- ing Dr. Siegert’s Angostura Bitters, the only genuine. mistaken, John Pater familias — the doctor, quicl was a ten-dollar gold-piece.” jeavens! ‘Telephone for New York World, First premium and gold medal at the world’s fair was taken by Cook's Imperial Champagne, extra dry. Bouquet unrivaled, “Bridget has had breakfast late every day this week. Can't you do something to get her up on time?” ** Well, there's the alarm-clock.”" ‘That doesn't always go off. Lend her the baby."—Chicago Record. A cheerful idiot who eats boiled oysters in our dining-room every Friday evening unblushingly remarks that Sears, who serves them, is the oyster supe." —Aiddletown Conglomerate. “What mystifies me,” said the nominee of the citizens’ independent association, “*is how party politics ever came to be introduced in ** What they hit is history, what they miss is The militiaman was undergoing an examina- tion for a non-commissioned officer. do army regulations make the first requisite in order that a man may be buried with military honors?" was the question fired at ** Death,” he promptly responded. “What him, And after ™ FT CANNOT DE IMPROVED IT CANNOT DE municipal campaigns.” ** Perhaps.” suggested the man of experience, ‘* the system was adopt- ed to prevent every man being his own candi- | date."—Chicago Journal, mystery,” is a quotation used by Senator Mor- gan, It is a fine description of modern jour- nalism.—Baltimore American, safety?” The little boy stopped short. ** What . he cried; “has grandma got a bike?’"—New York Evening Sun. 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