Judge — May 29, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

368 ANOTHER HIPPODROME. Anary voices—"And why can't Persimmons meet the Unknown ?” Rerenee (apologetically)—" Well, gents, der verascope people have jest found out dat de Unknown is a coon, an’ dey claim dey can't get a good color record frum ‘im on deir ma- sheens.”” CHEAP. NA Dakota town where divorces and other adjust- ments of the affections are regulated with facility is a large sign on a baker “Seven loves for twenty-five cents SOVEREIGNTY. ASILVER pencil-holder she As philopena held in fee, So when she bade him au re- voir, ‘The season ended," One thing more," She said. ‘* 1 wish a coronet Engraved upon it; don’t for- get! ‘The mark of rank is what I mean.” He whispered, ** Yes, for you're my queen.” Suage A LEGAL PROPOSITION. © YOU, whom most these presents do concern, T here allege with love's own fire I burn; And also do attest my heart is free Of all incumbrance - owned in simple fee. I bargain, therefore, if you give your heart In fair consideration, for your part, As party of the first part, unto me, I, party of the second, give to thee All right, claim, interest which pertains, Withall appurtenance which there remains, With hereditaments, my heart ~ my life— Ah, yes, and more, if you will be my wife, As second party, swear I to defend Said deed and title till the very end ; And firmly by these presents will I bind Myself unto a promise to be kind— Thy love to cherish, thy commands obey, Thy heart protect forever and ad Thy vassal and thy loyal knight to be, If you decide to deed your heart to me. Whereof in witness set I seal and hand ‘This day and year in our most lovely land Subscribed and sworn to here this love- some day, Before dear Cupid lad, the not'ry fay Appointed long ago—as you may see— To act in all the realm of Arcadie PHILIP VERRILL SIGHELS, “ONE OF MY ANCESTORS CAME OVER IN THE MAYFLOWER.” A REDEEMING FEATURE, Mrs, PLovenre —" Thet almaneck iz onreliabul. Hiram. Myar yew staid tew hum from taown ter-day ‘cause it perdicted rain, an’ a purtier day never wuz” Mk. ProuGigx —* It sartainly air onsartain foretellin’ th’ weather ; but it dew beat all creashun how it tell ‘ithout a miss zackly w’en 1h moon iz goin’ tew be full. An’ ef yew ricolleck, las’ summer we noticed it sed thet Crismus wud com on Friday, an’, by jinks! w'en th’ time rolled roun’ it wuz jest ez th’ almaneck sed. A DEFINITION. HE mirror that freak jour- nalism holds up to nature is simply the convex looking- glass of the dime-museum with an elaborate advertise- ment of itself in the corners. WE ALL WONDER. Little Clarence (with a rising inflection) —" Pa?” Mr. Callifers (impa- tiently)—“Oh, I don’t know !" Little Clarence —" How do you know you don’t know, pa, when you don’t know what Iam going to ask 2” Mr. Calipers —"\ know from experience, but go ahead and ask your question.” Little Clarence —"Well, pa, why are church festivals, amateur concerts,home-talent The Mayflower must have had a full passenger-list if all those claiming themselves as theatricals and similar affairs descendants of some one of the voyagers are correct, called * entertainments °?” Mr, Callipers—" Nobody knows, my son.” wy wy out « sayir inter every Bobt safet he c Yor) NO DIFFERENCE. Vouunie narser—"* I intend to put a phonograph in my shop, and to run it constantly for the benefit of my customers, What do you think of the idea?” Crusty — Humph ! 1 suppose one talking-machine is as good as AFTER THE FLOOD. * Where vou livin’, Bill?" another. “Ldonno. I haven't found my house yet.” comicbooks.com