Judge — May 1, 1897 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

] IMPLE HINTS ABOUT THE LAWN. IRST—buy ten dollars’ worth of books and read carefully all the directions they contain, and if any two agree throw them away as valueless. Second—buy everything recommended as necessary, even if it puts another mort- gage on the house. Third—buy five kinds of seed and seven styles of fertilizer and attack the ground, and if nothing happens wait a rea- sonable time and try all the other kinds of both. Fourth—be sure to purchase a lawn- mower before the seed comes up and get the children to sharpen it by daily exercise on the gravel-path, Fifth—if the seed do not come up al- low your fine new crop of weeds to prove to your neighbors that there is something in your soil except general cussedness. Sixth—hope on, hope ever, and while you are waiting read the bible and other good books that will direct your thoughts from earth. AN ARTISTIC SPECIALTY. Seventh—look not with envy upon the velvet green of your poor Bronco Batss—"' Howdy, Cale? My wife ‘lowed you mought loan her yer spurs neighbor, who has done mére with sixty-seven cents’ worth of com. bis arternoon ef ye warn't usin’ ‘em.’ ‘ : z s Cayuse CALE—"‘Sartin, pard. Is she off fer a hoss-back canter?" mon stuff than you have with all the high-priced mixtures, Broxco Bates—‘* Nary, Cale. She's makin’ a batch uv cookies fer th’ new par- Eighth—take a long vacation and get the hired man to do the son's wife, an’ she wants th’ spurs ter deckerate ‘em up skrumpsbuslike. Savvy? work, THE LAST RESORT. AND HE WON'T GO NEXT SUNDAY. Proprietor great daily— There's the prize-fight written up by the Reverend Teddy (alter bis first lesson at Sunday-school)—" Say, mamma, Dr. Fifthly, and Gore, the celebrated wife-murderer, gives his impressions of was Adam born'd a s modern religion. Ham- baby ora man? And fat, the actor, gives us if he was the first a hot exposé of the man who named him K worthlessness of Adam? And how Shakespeare as adram- does any one know atist, but it ain't that was his name? enough. Can't you And why wasn't Eve think of a red-hot called Mrs. Adam in- 5 4 sensation—a genuine stead of Eve?” \ : surprise for our read- ers?” HOW IT HAP- City editor —“1 PENED. < thought of one tosday, ae , but it is a desperate Beenaway —" And S | : that is really Miss Lin- 4, oe M chance. “Twouldn’t do gerlong? Is it possi- f Ei Soa tave,s ens, toy ble? Why, when I 2 bya real reperser. would it? left here, five years ago, it was common; sad of her that het é wee |% RECIPROCITY. face was her fortune. 66 TURN about is What has caused the i ; 3 ‘ ra fair play,” said change?” ; Wheelington as he ad- Staidhome—*Ob,1 dressed his wrecked guess she made an as- SHowMAN—"‘ Ladies and gents, I will now Mr. Fowzer (in audience, to himself }—" Golly! bicycle. “You broke signment.” show you how my trained roosters smoke cigarettes,” I'll try sumfin’ shuah in his polltry-yard.”* me first, — Bang! bang!! bang!!! Mr, Fowtzn—" Now I know I is a great comicbooks.com|