Judge — May 1, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

duff to her brother, who is a crusty bachelor. victim?” ‘Then, seeing a baleful look in his sister's eye, he added, “T should say, who is her-accom- plice ?” PROGRESSIVE OBSERVA- this morning. I hung a portiére in my room. 1 wouldn't let the up- holsterer do it, and I wouldn't let anybody help me, because I wanted it done in a particular way anything about "—— Photo. by Fath. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MABEL FENTON - KOSS. Under the Red Globe's garish light Frolicsome fairies disport by night ; And never the gleam of that glim was bent on ‘A gayer burlesquer than Mabel Fenton, Playing to profit, and never to loss, As head of the tirm of Fenton and Ross, MAKING IT WORSE, eS ALLIE TWITTERS is to be married,” said Mrs. Kil- “Ah!” replied he, “ who is her TIONS. She —"\ had the worst time He—"1 didn’t know you knew She—"1 don't, but I was bound I'd do it. Well, I'd asked them where I bought the pole to have it sawed off the right length, and they uae hadn't done it, and I had to get a saw and do it myself. I couldn't saw it even, and I got all out of patience, and I kept saying good gracious till Aunt Mary looked at me over her glasses; she doesn’t approve of expletives for young ladies.” He—"You are sure it was good gracious?” She—“ It was, at that stage. I got the brackets up all right, but I went and drove a nail part-way into an end of the pole to start a place to screw in the fancy end, and when I tried to pull it out I broke it square off and I couldn't pull the piece out. I was so provoked !” He—" What did you say then?” She —"1 said plague take it! ‘There was nothing to do but to saw off an inch or so to get a fresh end. I had a fearful time doing it. It looked as if somebody had chewed it off, and I sawed my fingers.” He—"And you said "—— She—" \ said confound it, right out loud, and Aunt Mary went out of the room. I got the pole up finally, and stretched my arms till they were lame and got both ends screwed on, and then found I'd for- gotten to put the rings on. I was SHE WAS IN DOUBT. Bexntam—" Well, if you want to know it, T married you for your money.” Mrs. you for.” = HE HAD THE ADVANTAGE, A SUGGESTION FOR CIRCUS- PARADES, ‘The sandwich animals. ‘TeRRyY—"' Go on an’ laugh, yez flat-chisted orang-outang ; Oi'm bether arf thin yez are, Oi may be drunk, but Oi can git over thot—but yez ‘re a (hic) dom fool an’ yez can't git over thot !” ENHAM—*' I wish I could tell as easily what I married perfectly desperate. My neck ached, and my back, and I was getting dizzy “. He— remarks ?” She —“1—1 said darn it; 1 couldn't help it. I unscrewed one of the ends and got the rings on and screwed it back again, and then I hung the curtain, and goodness knows how long I was at it. I had it all up once and found I'd turned it wrong side to, and I hung it all over and got it too short, and I hung it four times altogether, and my hair was all tumbled down and every bone in my body ached and my fingers bled where I'd sawed ‘And you continued your She —" Yes, you may! And I don’t care a snap if I did, either. An angel from heaven couldn't have said anything else. But it was just as well that Aunt Mary had gone out of the room.” rants a. orren. y >.) iN J comicbooks.com