Judge — April 10, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TOO REALISTIC FOR HIM. (A story of the Kinetoscope.) 1. Big Meat A DIRE ALTERNATIVE, trap Big Meat,— "Y (angrily)—"* Dere’s on'y wun t'ing about it, Rover. You've gotter quit nosin’ out chipmunks an’ git down ter legitimit partridge-trailin’, er I'm goin’ RATHER A SUR- ter take yer in hand.” PRISE. Re ie PREACHING AND PRACTICING. are ae poo en . / Old deacon (irritated by young minister's lack sisi natid eas peliae e of punctuality)—" Look here, young man! I wish pao : : you'd preach us a sermon on punctuality, Mebby Sane suerte ? G Ss “twould benefit yourself, if it didn’t your hearers.” dsimcd 26 what! uate ’ Mw we Young miniser—"'m afraid 1 shouldn't get think? Uncle Rufus is > : N = kc there in season to preach it.” tae shee Dereee bea Oy ae : . UNHARDENED. S Bee THE hospital physicians who had labored vainly HIS VIEW OF IT. 2 é : { for hours to resuscitate the passenger who had SWAY don’t you 3 succumbed to the cold in a heated surface-car com- work?” Why do muned together. you go around begging ?” “Doubtless,” they said, “he is a man whose “Well, mum, if you occupation has been such as not to inure him to think beggin’ isn’t. work ordinary exposure.” just try it.” They made a final effort to arouse him from unconsciousness. * Who ADVANTAGES OF THE SEASON. are you?” they shouted in unison. The suffering victim opened his eyes. “I,” he said thickly, “"am Nansen, the arctic explorer.” SEVERAL MEALS BEHIND. ++ ]S IT true.” asked the benevolent lady, “that you often have to go without a meal “It is, ma‘am,” re- plied Tattered Thompson. "This breakfast you have given me was due on the morning of May 7th, 1889." 2, —Here come much heap cavalry.— Cholly—" Oh, come now! I say, Miss Cora, I ca-an’t take two of you young ladies to suppah—I ca-an’t affohd it, doncherknow.” Miss Cora Fay—" What! not in Lent?” EQUIVOCAL. SHAT ean you say Ww for this appli- cant?” "He is honest as the day is long.” “Ah, but the days are very short now.” IN GAZOOLAND. Giraffe— That fool zebra is taking on airs again.” Mrs. Giraffe— PERFORMING HIS DUTY. ENGiNerR—" Well, what's the matter?” wAVhEE tea NEW WEINGE-WATCHMAN (breathlessly) —"* Shure, hat sabout ‘tis th’ bridge beyant th’ cur-rve.”” Grraffe—Oh, he En NREK (in surprise)—"' Is it burned or washed says so many distinguish “Shure, it's not. Oi only wanted’ ¢d New-Yorkers are wear- tell yez thot ‘twas ail roight an’ yez cud go ahead.” ing stripes.” 4. —All pale-face gone very quick.” comicbooks.com