Judge — April 10, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A RANDOM SHOT. Manet (ufter the interview)—" Oh, Cholly! how did you ever induce papa to consent to our marriage? He told me he would never do so."* CHOLLY Greatiteap—"'T told him that chance had made me the possessor of certain secrets of his which, if disclosed, would ruin him socially and financially.” Mawet. (distressed )—"" Oh, Cholly ! what do you know against papa?’ CHOLLY GreaTHEaD— “Not a thing; but it’s a bluff that works with lots of these rich fellows.”” GOOD FOR ALECK. ++ THE new photograph of the heavens which is being prepared by London, Berlin and Parisian astronomers shows sixty-eight million stars." Evidently Alex- ander is having plenty of other worlds to conquer. WILLIE’S WAY. seOWILLE .” said his mother, “did you ‘say your prayers last ni; bad little boy.” il Uf * Ly Ww : * Frowery Firtps—‘*It seems terrible, Bill, don’t it, ter tink uv de millions uv bushels uv corn an’ rye an’ wheat an’ pertaters dat is perduced annually in an’ den ter t'ink dat dere are hundreds uv thousands uv poor women an’ kids dat can't even git enough ter cat.” Weary WiLLIr—"* Ves, Fields, it does ; but dere is some small conserlation in de tought dat if all de poor women an’ kids in dis country got enough ter eat dis country, us poor fellers probably wouldn't git enough ter drink.” Vigo GOING TO THE OPERA. ssPjO YOU believe the story that Maud goes to the opera just to show her bon- nets?” Yo; Maud isn't so foolish as that. Sometires she goes to see tie other girls’ bonnets.” TOO POSSIBLE, Knicker—"We had to discharge our pastor because he mis- pronounced a word.” Bocker —“For such a trifle?” Knicker —“ Yes. He said the dear de- parted had gone to‘ the AT A SEANCE. * undiscovered country Mepium (disgusted )—"* Ladies and gentlemen, it is impossible to materialize to-night any of your departed relatives, because there is that from whose burn no 7 confounded book-agent’s spirit again ; therefore the other spooks dare traveler returns, not come.” OF COURSE NOT. Mr, Mulligan- Bull (coming into his wife's sitting-room)—" Phew! My dear, I don't see how you can stand sitting in such a hot room as th Mrs, Mulligan Bull—\ never have been able to stand sitting anywhere, my love.” SOMETHING LIKE IT, ANYHOW. ‘+O YOUR people devote much time to gastronomy?” “T can't say as they do,” replied the native. “To tell you the truth, | don't believe there's a telescope in the town.” - FEMININE SUPER- STITION. -gins—" Do ink that wo- men are superstitious about Friday?” Mr. Higgins—* Cer- tainly. If Robinson Cru- soe had been a woman that black valet would have been called Thurs- day.” A PHILOSOPHER. comicbooks.com