Judge — March 27, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

204 Suage QUITE COOL. AS A method of escaping heat ‘To other girls she is an aid ; When young men on the porch they meet She casts her rivals in the shade. NO AFTERMATH, Mrs. Smith—" Does yo’ pickle yo’ watahmillion rin’, Mrs. Jobn- sing?” Mrs, Johnsing — Ve nevah has eny lef’, Mrs. Smif.” BEWARE OF PICK- POCKETS. WO ladies entered the cable-car at an hour of the day when seats are a possibility. One was an elegant dowager in regal magnifi- cence of attire, the other was evi- dently her daughter. * Shall I pay the fare, mamma? WHERE MOST OF IT WENT. ; : Port—"' You say you love poetry.” Uhave my purse with me,” said the Sue—"' L adore it; I read it in the very fire.” young lady sweetly. Porr—"‘Ah, then no doubt you have read mine there.” “Oh. no; I'll pay. I have plen- ty of change.” Thereupon she leaned sideways and commenced the intricate and hampered process of searching her rich draperies for her pocket. After a minute or two of fumbling, Phote. by Falk JUDGE'S FAVORITES. during which her face grew an apoplectic red, she exclaimed tragically, MiNi MADDERN FAKE. “Laura! what shall Ido? I've been robbed! My purse is gone—my pocket is entirely Emotions that a thousand feel empty.” ’ ‘One only may express. q ik "ay ide, i Tovou ts given torcveal Perhaps, madam,” said the gentleman by her side, into whose coat-pocket she had The tortured heart of ‘Tess thrust her hand, “perhaps if you search your own pocket instead of mine you will be more likely to find your purse.” HARD TO UNDERSTAND. ITTLE four-year-old Margaret is puzzled. “When will it b= to-morrow, mamma? You said that this day would be to-morrow, but now you say it is to-day. "Most every night you say it will be to-morrow wher I wake up. and every time it is to-day.” A LITTLE GIRL’S EXPLANATION Teacher—* You may explain the difference, Mabel, between climate and weather.” Mabel — Climate is what we have all the time, but weather lasts only a few days.” IT HAD. THE millionaire sausage-king staggered in- to the room with white face and trembling A SUCCESSFUL RUSE. Uskxown Quantity—" Certainly, sir; I rep- Gabsuy— Might | awsk, my dear sir, what in resent Fittemnit and company, your tailors, Mr. the name of common sense you wepwesent ?” Gadsby, and I have here a little bill that we been trying to collect for the past eight months.” hands. His daugh- ter sprang to meet him. “ Something ter- rible has happened,” she cried. “ What is it?” He sank into a chair, “All of the bologna manufact- urers,” he said, “have formed a trust to force me to the wall.- I shall be beggared if they combine !* The daughter paled. “Then, in- MODERN PUGILISM. deed,*ishe ‘murs FILLING TANKS. fon NCR, StonTIR "Has lffem started totrain myyred, “has the 4 UNcLx MEADOWsoLD —" How's yer son Henry gettin’ on down to the city or his fizht with Stuflem yet : : jeacon 7” Jit PLUNGER — "Ves ; he's reading Shake. Wurst come to the Deacon PiLteR—"' Fust-rate! We got a postal yesterday sayin’ he'd got a speare now.” wurst! good job fillin’ tanks at a big hotel.” comicbooks.com