Judge — March 13, 1897 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE GLAD FACE, He had a bright and winning smile, ‘That touched me in a trice. Together then we had a smile— He touched me for the price. He touched me for a silver half, ‘Then laughed—on me—a silvery laugh. A BAD BREAK. ++ AND when you discovered that every éscape was cut off and that you were entirely surrounded by fire,” they inquired, “did you lose your head?” “Well,” he replied, “that is—ah—the next thing to it.”” As though to draw their attention from his extreme baldness, he hastily and solicitously inquired whether there was a sufficient amount of caloric in the atmosphere to meet their approval. THE QUARREL UNAVOIDABLE. Nott— But why did you permit them to come to blows? Why, even our gréat international quarrels are now submitted to arbitration.” Hurd—* But you don’t know the men I had to deal with, They said they never had arbitrated anything. never expected to arbitrate anything, and didn't know how to arbitrate, and that arbitration was all nonsense, anyhow. You see both of them have been members of the state board of mediation and arbitration.” TROUBLE AVOIDED. Miss Freeman—* Did yo" tell Francesca Jones dat yo’ was gwine toe knock me silly?” Miss Johnsing— Yo' pore thing! I nevah sayed I was gwine toe knock yo’ silly. Yo" is silly enuff already.” CAUGHT. +6 LJE'S rather fast," the maiden said, “ Yet marry him I may ; In fact, I know he is so fast He cannot get away.” THE CHANGES OF TIME. Ted—" Tom is so tired of keeping Lent that he says he never wants to see the sight of LONG HAIR OR SHORT? Mr. OLpsavinc—"* Why, what are you doing, my dear?” only want to see whether baby will grow up to be a foot-ball player or a prize-fighter.”” COUNTRY PARSON Do you take this woman for better or worse ?” a fish again.” Rupe Bripecroom —* Wa-al, I swow, parson, now you've got me ; her folks Ned— "Nonsense! In a ‘ink I'm takin’ her fer better, an’ my folks think I'm takin’ her fer worse.” couple of months he'll get up at daylight and walk twenty miles just for the sake of trying to catch some.” THE SLOT-MACHINE, SOY, Mollie! what are WwW you doing?” asked her grown-up sister. “Chewing gum,” replied Mollie with the laconicism of five. “ Where did you get such a thing, you vulgar child?” “Ob, I found a penny and put it in the slops.” THE WOMAN OF IT, Mrs. Crabshaw —" What makes you say that women are so thoughtless ?* Crabshaw— Wasn't it only yesterday you got me to promise to keep Lent?” Mrs, Crabshaw—" Yes.” Crabshaw —" And to- day you go to the doctor to get some medicine to give me an appe- A DIFFERENCE, Granpror Greene—"' Hol’ on, hol on, Hiram! Whut yer whalin’ leetle Rube fer?” Hiram (srathily)—" Fer lyin’. Graxpror Greenn—'* Wrong, Hiram; wer-o-n-g! Yer kin whale a lie inter a boy with sense, but yer kain't whale a lie out ov Hinam—" Gol swan it! yer used ter whale me.” Granopor GR sorathily)—"* Consarn it! yew never hed no sense.” AN ILLUSION IN CHURCH. This man wonders why the congregation are staring at him so curiously. comicbooks.com |