Judge — March 6, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Photw.by Fath, JUDGE'S FAVORITES. AMELIA BINGHAM, In “Captain Impudence " you're cast, in-all your blonde perfection, To shine the better by contrast ‘With Mexican complexion. You make us think that dusky Carmen, Though twice as warm, is not so charmin’, COUP D'ETAT. SHE was atender- hearted thing. She was a vege- tarian, an anti- sectionist, and be- longed tothe society for the prevention of cruelty to animals, and yet she would discuss and probe and ponder. She felt it incumbent upon her to settle all questions hanging unsolved If physiognomists are so very correct we may soon see bi- peds of the poor Mr Limpering order— Yale— between heaven and earth, and though the final responsibility belonged to her it was not natural that she should let others rest in slothfulness while the brunt of living fell upon her. GRAND, G! Mrs. Jonson — Wonyparte tricks on me. Mr. JouNnson —* W.w'y—w'ot yo" mean by dat, Melindy ?* Mrs. Jounson —"*W'y, de books say dat feller up a hod ob coal." cultivate their foreheads by an in- door course at OOMY AND PECULIAR. See yar, nigger; doan' yo" go tryin’ to play no Napoleon ; f if wuz grand, gloomy an’ pe- culiar, An’ | notice yo" bin actin’ de same way lately eb'ry time I ax yo" to bring uae IT DOES SATISFY HIM. IIS is a queer old world of ours, For always it has been, ‘The time a man feels most put out Is when he's taken in, A SUSPICIOUS CHARACTER. Father —" Bah! so you think you love him 2” Daughter— Yes, papa.” Father —* Hum—does he drink ?” Daughter—" No, papa.” Father—“ Bosh ! does he smoke?” Daughter—" No, papa.” Father —* Probably he chews, then?” Daughter—* Ob, no, papa.” Father —* Does he keep late hours ?” Daughter — No, papa.” Father —* Does he play poker ?” Daughter— No, papa.” Father — Belong to any clubs?” Daughter—" No, papa.” Father —" Own a fast horse ?” Daughter —" No, papa.” Father—" Does he swear much ?” Daughter —" Never, papa.” out in de ring ?” AN INSOMNIA RECIPE. Scrarpy Swipes—* Say, Mike, were yer ever knocked I knocked mesilf out onct in Father—" Part his hair in the Mixer Mike —" Nit! middle ?” me sleep, dough. . tNo pana” SCRAPPY Swipes (incredulously) —"* W'ot?” Daughter—" No, papa. pommel ade Father —" Then, great Scott ! what has he ever done to act like that? He must be a regular villain.” landed on me mesilf insti,” POSSIBILITIES. —or, if brought up in the ring of Tam. many hall, properly sat upon, be still able to present the above broad - minded, smil- ing visage; — —or,if trained in a municipal course of New York politics, be able to affect the nar- row view. —or the chin by out-door work at the same institution;—— They were at thedinner-table and soup was served. She was about to carry the first spoon ful to her lips when an unsettled look came into her eyes and the weight of a heavy responsibility fell upon her face. “Dear,” she faltered, casting an appealing glance at her only companion at the board, “ dear, do you believe in burial?” "Yes," replied her victim, squirm- ing a little and seeking a loophole of escape.“ Yes, I do—after death.” And the ques- tion was down. Bertwuistte— “1 am next week, and I shall w: BEFORE, OR AFTER, THE WEDDIN: PROFESSOR CLAWER (b7%¢/) march, of the couchee-couchee Dat's on de level, Swipes ; a misskee- ter bit me on de point uy de jaw, an’ | swung fer ‘im an’ AND HE DID. Bad Hennessy “Say! did yer hear of Bills killin’ hisself 2" Tough Mack —" No; how?” Bad Hennessy —" Jumped down a culvert.” Tough Mack “Lallus said dat feller ‘d commit sewercide.” going to be married for me." The wedding- comichooks.¢f m