Judge — March 6, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

454 wiage BRUDDER BONESHAKE CORRECTS A TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR. LOOK b'yah, Mistah Editor! I want yo" ter please correctify dat topographical error in my ought-ter-biography w'at yer printed. Yo" say dat in my early youf I considered de ministry as my calling, but guv it up on ac- count of conscientious screwples. Shucks! dat ain’t right. Hit was de minstrelsy, not de ministry, dat I decided not ter embrace, not- withstandin’ my perfound reverence fur hit JACQUEMINOTS. THE roses on her breast are Jacks, The heart that beats beneath is mine. My faith in her doth not relax Because the roses all are Jacks, Forsooth, in getting at the facts You'll find a quip of her design— She wears of roses none but Jacks, But heart and roses both are mine, KOY PARRELL GREENE. CAUGHT IN THE BOOM, SES,” he said as he cocked his feet up on the real-estate dealer's desk and puffed the real-estate dealer's cigar, ‘oh, yes; they told me they would let me in on the ground floor; and they did—ground that was Sold to build a town on when it wouldn't raise pusley. They said if 1 would put my money in the lots of the new town they were about to build that I couldn't help making fifty thousand dollars, Just couldn't help it, they said, if I wanted to; bound to make fifty thousand in spite of all efforts to the con- trary. I might try to avoid making it by running away, but that wouldn't do any good ; any way I could fix it that fifty thousand would simply stick to my clothes and I couldn't run fast enough to shake it loose.” “You might have known they were deceiving you,” remarked the real-estate dealer commiseratingly. “But I didn’t know it and I don’t know it now,” he contended. “Well, by Jove! you must be rank stupid.” * No, I'm not. How should 1 know that fifty thousand dollars wouldn't stick to my clothes? How should I know that it didn’t stick ? By gravy! when I got out of the confounded thing they had my clothes too.” COULD, BUT WOULDN'T. you could mend chair: BLInky Bro have not alleged dat { would, hev HIS PROPER. SPHERE, Juvce PRISONER: Mrs, Missus—"* Why, before I gave you your breakfast you alleged that PNHURST—"* True, madam ; but havin’ got de breakfust, I “* Where are you from ?” Philadelphia, yer honer."” "en days—in the morgue.” MUST BE SOME RELIEF. THOUGHT they say the lower re- gion ’s hot Its terror somewhat fades ; For how can any place be so Where there are many shades? HOW IT HAPPENED, Drummer—* How does it hap- pen that the cost of sending a tele- gtam from here to the city is forty cents, while the charge for sending a dispatch of the same length from the city here is only twenty-five cents?” Squam Corners merchant — “ Why, you see, it is mostly up hill from here to the city.” CORRECT. Rural teacher —* What current event of great interest can you give me this morning ?” Smalt girl (eagerly)— My ma has just made twenty tumblers of jell.” m aN le Fi ¢ | ay A CHINA ASTOR. One of the 400 (000,000) of — the celestial empire. A DOG-SHOW ON THE INDIAN RESEKVATION, wi When th ey And her w We chill Asif we It's scary When th Pe When th And the tr The plus Where c te The figu When tt a When tt bi The line: When tt ec The dad so whither summer my way bumorou with thy eutcast— paign-lic ing the f now nob Epwortt cause th “Ves, so that | The Re comicbooks.com