Judge — February 27, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sudge VENING CONVERSATION. Mrs, Hohmboddie—* ear, that house down the street, with the bay-window, is sold.” Mr. Hohmboddie ({com his paper)—* U-m-m-m! yes; and what do you think? The woman sold it to a woman across the way, and the woman next door bought a lot of wood and coal that was in the cellar, and the woman didn’t want it brought in—the woman that owned the house— because she said it smelt of dried fish.” Mrs, Hohmboddie—" hat smelt of dried fish?” Mr. Hohmboddie—" Why, the wood smelt of it; but the woman declared that it didn’t at all, and the woman that sold it said so too, and she insisted on bringing it in, and of course the woman that owned the house was put out.” Mrs. Hohmboddie—" Put out of her own house?” Mr. Hohmboddie—" No, no. 1 mean she was mad, and then the other woman got mad, and she went right off and bought the house from the other woman.” Mrs. Hohmboddie—" The other woman? What other woman?” Mr. Hohmboddie—" Why, don’t | tell you? The woman that sold the house.”” Mrs. Hohmboddie—" But what woman and what house? For heaven's sake! when you speak to people do use language that can be understood.” f Mr. Hohmboddie—" Language, indeed! It wouldn't make any difference what language I used if the people | spoke to were as stupid as you are.” Ms. paines, a THE TRUTH OF IT. AUGUSTINE WASHINGTON (sfernly)—"* Who has chopped down my favorite cherry-tree?” Grorce Wasiinctox— Some vandal, father. I jest picked up de hatchet an’ was comin’ ter tell yer of de outrage.” AN UP-TO-DATE DOLLY. LITTLE Frances had lately been put in “combination garments,” but had not learned the name correctly. One day she said to her papa, “ Look, papa!” exhibiting her dolly; Mary Ann has accommodation gar- ments just like mine.” HER DREAM OF BLISS. Cobwigger—" Isn't that the dress I gave one hundred dollars for that you are wrapping up?” Mrs. Cobwigger —" Mt known as a ‘charity party. the poor.” my dear. This little affair to-night is what is Each of us contributes some cast-off garment to Cobwigger—" You don’t mean to say you are going to give that dress away ?” Mrs. Cobwigger—" Most decidedly. 1 would never have accepted the invi- tation only I knew that by donating such a gown | could set all the women present talking about me for the next month.” THE COLDEST SPOT ON EARTH. FACIAL RESEMBLANCE. Askins—“ What! you haven't worn an overcoat all winter? ** Ilyde says he isn't going to the dog-show this year, T wonder why?” how did you avoid taking cold?” ** Perhaps he wants to give the dogs a show.” My stars! Jubs—" Oh, easily. U always kept out of the street-cars.”” A LITTLE LYRIC OF SORROW. MISGUIDEDLY my: sponsors gave My country’s father’s name to me ; Bat doubt not that T honor it Because I write “ misguid. edly.” Tris because through life T must [ Re governed by a precedent For ev'ry deed and utterance, Vet fail of great accomplish < ment. Just ponder my distressing state, You who with tongues bond- free and glib Know the delight of coloring The cloth of an artistic fib. I Truth's drab road am forced to take Day in, day out—to just con- fess A love for harmless Fiction's, to Ne taxed with my unworthi- ness, A MISNOMER. REWARD WASHINGTON BARNARD, McCroskty (agonisingly) —** Divil floy away wid th’ loyin’ fool thot named th’ harseshoe th’ imblim av good luck !" comicbooks;:co'