Judge — February 27, 1897 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BITTER CRY OF THE SUBUR- BANITE. (ie seems to allude to the Hoosier laureate, Mr. James Whitcomb Riley.) Your poems, Mr. Riley, Lused to think of highly— Your ‘frost upon the punkin,” and your ** fodder in the shock.” I thought 'twould be a frolic To lead a life bucolic. Now look at me! In farms and fads I'll never more take stock. SOME EDITORS TAKE THE RISK. * + P)AVIE, what is scandal?” “Scandal is somethin’ a feller don't dare t’ print in a newspaper for Suge VASSAR GRACE TO WEST POINT HARRY. * Vlook for that which is not, nor can Rossetti. ELOVED boy, your note I've just received. I'm charmed to hear the bones you have perceived In that dear hand, which blest Saint Valentine (By leap-year's aid!) assisted to \ make mine, Pray tell me !—has your brain been sighted yet? (Xeuse the xraysy question!) but, my pet, Nil desperandum '—our professor good Has seen thro’ planks eight inches thick of wood Since hearing which, my brain is in a whirl Of wild Columbus hope !— new? Your own old girl, PLAUSIBLE. GEORGE WASHINGTON (of fo-day)— * Did you chop down that cherry-tree ?” GEORGE, JR. (of to-day)—"" Naw; yer might Avote it wuz me little brudder.” Grorce, sk.—"* Explain.” J Well, ef /°d er done de choppin’ I'd er bin eround an’ nailed yer fer me dough fer doin’ de work long afore dis,” MY VALENTINE. A ROUNDEL, Y VALENTINE! which maiden shall it be Of all these mental photographs of mine? In which fair, gracious vision may I see My valentine? Shall it be Margaret with the eyes : \ divine ? fear of gettin’ licked.” | = F Y Rosina, daintily dispensing tea? = Toward clever Katherine does my NOW WHAT DID HE MEAN? SOWING EARLY SEEDS. heart incline? Uxcie AMINADAB (/ozely)—"* Merriar, I'll have ter make an eend 0’ Wait! MATRIMONY was the topic, and her turtle the talk at the breakfast-table AUNT Marta—" Yew . ‘ lays with it th’ livelong day. was general and lively. Peay UNCLE AMINADAD (solemly)—" Va-as, Merriar ; but jest think o° “1 knew a case,” said the young what it's likely tew lead up tew. Th’ fust thing we know thet boy may lady excitedly, “ of a wife who thought be a-kitin’ off daown tew York an’ becomin’ a messenger-boy, b’gosh !” she was dying, and who called her hus- : band and tried to make him promise that if she did die he would not marry the girl he was engaged to before he married her. And he wouldn't promise. And what do you suppose? Why, the wife got bet- ter and kept on getting better, and she is living to- day. Mr. Singelmon, what do you think of that?” “T think he was a fool.” “You horrid man! What do you mean?” “ He ought to have promised.” Who is this comes flying by in lee? nother, husband. Why, little Abner ‘That mad Madge on her wheel? Here is my shrine. Forgetting all the rest, I bow to thee, My valentine ! CAROLYN WRLLS EXPLAINED, Mr. Tony Bender —" & splendid fellow, that Fine example of a self-made man.” Mrs. Tony Bender (with a faint sniff)— Ah, 1 thought there was a home-made air about him." THE BUM WITH THE BOMB. HE. times is hard, and no mistake, When anarchy its salt can't make, "Cos every one’s agin it, This business of the dynamite bomb AT LEISURE. Is just at present like Atcy—"" Clarence is a lucky dog. He married in haste and now he's repenting at leisure.” my stom- Rrccv—"* Where does the luck come in?” * Why, he's repenting at éciswre, man—married an heiress and hasn't had to do a stroke of Ach—nothin’ in it. work since."* comicbooks.com