Judge — February 20, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BLIND MAN’S PARADOX. E YOU see, but I don’t see you, Although it’s broad daylight. I seem to you to be in view, And yet, I'm out of sight. THE COLONEL’S IDEA. + THUH is one peculiah thing about whisky,” said Col- onel Corkright meditatively. “What is that, Cubnel?” asked Major Bludsoe. “Why, sub, it is odd that one drink of whisky at a time is enough fub any man, two drinks too much, and three drinks not half enough.” APPEAL TO SAINT VALENTINE. 1, THE dear old-fashioned woman was so tender and so human, And so pretty and so graceful as she whirled her spinning-wheel, All her dainty linen weaving, all her tender dreams believing, Ina knightly, courtly lover and a wedding’s happy weal. She was shy, but she was tender, and her eyes they had a splendor When her being throbbed with passion and her soul was peeping out; And her lips a nectared sweetness and her truth a wide completeness “That never left her lover e’en the shadow of a doubt. And she did not have ambitions and she did not go on missions, ‘And she did not talk of politics, reform and clubs galor ‘And she was not always hurried, always anxious, always flurried, But she was so calm and peaceful that she rested us the more. Oh, the darling, how we miss her! kiss her! Sweet and graceful, coy and tender, with a love that was divine, If there’s one old-fashioned woman left that's tender, restful, human ; One with fads who is not harried ; one who loves and would be married, Bring her to a fond adorer—bring her here, Saint Valentine. EMMA PLAYTER SRABURY. How much we should like to Watch me bag that chippie-bir * Don't waste your powder and shot.’ Hunter ( fercely)—* What does that mean, Sporter—economy, or that I can’t hit it?” IN OLD WAYBACK. SCHOHARIE county is the only county in the state of New York that gave a Democratic majority in the late presidential election. A few years ago, in the interior of the county, one of the landlords concluded to have a dance. Guests were plenty, but it was difficult to find music. Finally a fiddler was procured who said he had “ played for dances all winter.” After dancing nearly an hour one of the guests called out, “ Cherrytree, why don’t you turn your tune?” Cherrytree replied, “I haven't learned the other half of it yet.” NO DILLY-DALLYING. Merritt—"\t you don’t hurry up it Cora—" There's plenty of time. this evening.” ill be too late to go skating.” lintend to put on my own skates FULL OF LEAVES. . swat is that big chest in the attic of which grandma thinks so much?” HIS REASON. Jay Green (sourly)— If them peo- ple don’t do different about it blamed if 111 go to the party to-morrow night.”” Josh Medders —*What do you want ‘em to do in order to git you to go?” Jay Green—" Invite me.” TO THE LADY ON A SILVER DOLLAR. QE-AGING maid with snowy brow, Let silver hairs be warning now. ‘And dull- grown eyes and pallid cheek, That they who come thyself to seek Are wishing rather for thy pelf— T frankly judge them by myself; For 1 so love thy dollar-sign I wish thee for my valentine, ‘And thus by verse attempt to woo Thee, maid. Come, be my help- 2, TRamp—" Gosh! wid dis tap uv mine I'll make a little ‘dough’ an’ mate, do! MR, have de laff on de bloke in de front.” SURE PROOF. Senator Wayback—" But what makes you call him an honest assemblyman ?” Mr. Cash (of the third house) —"" What makes me call him an honest assembly- man? What makes— Say, you give me a pain, Wayback. Is there another man here what would stay by a fellow when the other side offered him a cool thousand raise?” 3. Cuorus—"'Dat's right! Run dat feller dat's tryin’ ter charge too much.”* comicbooks.com