Judge — February 20, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uape. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. ONITRD STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers One copy, for thirteen weeks - Inclading the Cuntermas Junge. FORRIGN SUBSCRIPTIO: Soreien countries im the postal ay THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BUILDING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. EW Circulation Larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. (47 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- nght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be Promptly and vigorously prosecuted. THE COUNTRY sends its most affectionate valentines to Mrs. Cleve- land and Mrs, McKinley. M®- CROKER says he wants to die in New York, and so far as we can see there isn’t the slightest objection. eee (CCOxEY threatens to send his tramps to every state legislature. states rights? And isn’t practical jingoism a heavenly virtue? eee Have ANSAS constantly reminds us that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. If she knew a little-more she wouldn't know half as much. soe T IS PROPER that there should be a peace jubilee over the arbitration treaty, provided the nations involved do not happen to go to war about it. BELIEVE in the Sunday news- paper; but, really, it ought to have a few more skeletons and uncov- ered graves in it, and some additional snakes and worms. soe THE REFUSAL of five silver Dem- ocrats in the New York legislature to vote for Senator Hill for a second term was a great compliment to the retiring gentleman. vee = COMMON SENSE that Gov- ernor Black proposes to inject into the folly of the civil-service reform business means simply that your party is out and ours is in—and that's right. R. GLADSTONE confesses that he has bought thirty-five thou- sand books. With that statement in view the vigor of his old age is ad- ditionally wonderful; but we do not believe he ever chopped a tree. THE CLERGYMAN here who wants wealth to cease its enjoyment for fear of the commune is unconsciously encouraging the latter. Let wealth commence to run and in five minutes every communist will be after it with a club. FH A DELUDING lave Oireland fer? owld sod as well as in Ameriky.” THE WISDOM of our war-vessels in going to ruin on their trial-trips, instead of waiting to drown the navy by wholesale, is very gratifying ; but heaven help them if they ever meet the enemy and he won't let them do their fighting on dry land. * THE NEW JOURNALISM brings forward an old lady who gives details of the ruin of her daughter. We are not told how much the old lady gets a line for her revelations, but she is so earnest that she omits nothing that might be interesting to a curious and sympathetic public, SCIL RHODES says the English people hold up their hands in hor- ror of things as to which they have no horror at all. That is the little diplomacy of the footpad who remarks to his victim, “I regret the necessity of this proceeding, which really hurts my feelings; but I expect presently to have a sick family. PAT (just over, to the monkey)—"*An’ phwat wor yez fool enough t’ Yez cud hov med yer fortune as th’ hairy mon in th’ NO FUTURE. A CORRESPONDENT of the Buffalo Express says David B, Hill must inevitably lead the gold Democrats in 1900, The article is headed “Has Hill a future?" We believe Mr. Hill is the man for the position, and that answers the question in the frozen, solid negative. SECOND THOUGHT. PoOSsTscRIPT to the arbitration treaty—“ Provided that nothing herein contained shall be construed to mean a change in the established situation in Alaska, in any government in South America, or in the Amer- ican monopoly of the contemplated Nicaraguan and Panama canals,” MATERIAL FOR POETS. A PRETTY STORY is told of a boy and a girl in Chicago who loved each other and therefore proposed to die, The girl drank half of the selected poison, and her suffering was so great that she begged the young man not to drink his portion, There was the ecstasy of unselfish affec- tion; but, alas! the misery of the girl was so great that it made a coward of the other party and he still lives. ARBITRATION IN LOVE, SAINT VALENTINE omitted one thing that ought to be expected of our later civilization, However poetic the missives that prevail on the day sacred to his memory, many of them fail of their purpose because of the obstinacy of the maid addressed. In those cases the love-sick writers threaten to destroy themselves, and sometimes do so; whereas they should pluck up courage and say, “Come, let us reason together. Let us appoint an arbitrator.” POVERTY MUST LIVE, D® RAINSFORD, who insists that the rich shall not give large par- ties and act ostentatiously, is thereby trying to cheat many worthy workers out of the money that large displays cost. For what shall the rich do with their money? Put it in banks and stockings, where it does nobody good ? ‘The social conditions of which he com- plains have always existed and always will exist; and therefore shall the deal- ers in those articles lose the sale of their cakes and ale? HYSTERICS AND THE LAW. LAW prohibiting corsets is pro- posed by a western woman. We are thereby reminded of a sermon against corsets by a western evangelist which was so powerful that many wo- men pulled off their corsets in the light of a convenient bonfire and cast them into the flames, after the manner of monks who subject themselves to flag- ellation and heathen who give jewels to wooden gods. It is not so bad, per- haps, to have religions of the emotions, but we really ought to have laws which have respect for common sense. FACIAL MAP. THE YOUNG MAN JOHN, NOBODY KNOWS, according to the Hartford Times, where John Sherman stands on any question for three days at a time. The Times forgets how rapidly situations change. The man who doesn’t change with them may be the most inconsistent of individuals, Your thor- oughly consistent man occupies his rock after the tide closes over it. and dies, Your quick thinker in the same emergency swims off and lives. Three days? What a long, long time it is at this end of the existing cent- ury! Consistency? Why, why! That has been an angel in heaven these “ten years. DUCKS. THE UNIVERSAL WOMAN gets tribute from Saint Valentine. If there are women who fail of immediate personal recognition, they at least belong to the sex which men are always praising, and that is glory enough for the day sacred to the affections. Even the president refused to avoid Liliuckalani recently, foregoing the ducks he wanted to shoot in behalf of the single one of imperial size and consequence whom he would doubtless rather not have met, It is woman whose inhumanity to her own sex makes countless thousands mourn. ran away, ‘Mrs. Cleveland on that occasion comicbooks.com