Judge — January 30, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

70 “A DREAM OF FAIR WOMEN.” HE came to me in a yellow dream, With purple hair unbound ; And one blue hand on her bright-green cheek Was near a mouth that was just a streak Of black with pink around. I gazed, and garments and hair did seem One strange, fantastic swirl, With nothing like what a gown should be; And then I knew her—this vision free— A first-prize poster girl. ALBERT LANGE WYETH, WORTH LOOKING AT. Mrs. Newrich (just introduced to Prince Weinkaski, who bows elabor- ately)—sQid you see that prince mak- ing his obsequies to me?” ~ a THAT'S DIFFERENT. ~ S AN omnibus wended its tortuous way down Fifth avenue, the other day, it had among its passengers a solitary but eminently civil old gentleman whose obvious duty it was to pass up fares for the ladies. Each lady came in armed with a smile and a dollar bill or a large piece of silver, which chivalry demanded that he should pass to the driver for change and restore again to its owner's hands, On the last occasion on which he proffered this service the \ ~ et A SINECURE. Mrs. Fiynn—'tAn’ phwat's yer son Moike doin’ now, Mrs. Casey?” Mrs. Casey —" Shure, Moike ain't doin’ annything, Mrs. Flyan. gover'ment job. He's got a suppressed feeling which had been arising in inward crescendo burst forth in stern rebuke to the latest offender. “Ladies should never leave the house without small change,” he exclaimed with acerbity. The lady responded, “It is not always possible to obtain it. Our money is given us in large bills.”* “Madam,” replied the gentleman, with conviction in his tone, as of one having experience, “I have been a church-warden for twenty years, and I have observed that no lady is without smal? change for the contribution-box on Sunday mornings.” CAUSE FOR CONGRATULATION. Farmer Hornbeak—" Howdy do, Jay? A new span of horses, hey? What did ye give for em?” Jay Green—"Aw, 1 ain't 28'poor as you think I am, These horses don’t belong to me.” THE GREAT ITEM. Frizby—Is it not much more expensive cruising in a yacht than traveling on the cars?” Vanwart—" The reverse. ‘There are no porters on yachts.” RETALIATION. Maupie FLANNAGAN (in great grief)—"" I can’t stand the girls at the board- ing-school, mamma, ‘They say papa is rich, but is low—especially one hateful thing, whose papa commanded a mortar-boat during the war.” Mrs. FLANNAGAN —"' Niver moind, niver moind, me dar-rlin’, If iver she mintions her ould morthar-boat egin tell her yure father carried a morthar-hod twinty years befoor th’ war.” OVER IN AVENUE A. ‘4 D)ID you heard aboud id? No? I vas a fader. Yaw, von leedle baby comed last nacht. Gongratulate me.” “ Boy or girl?” “Guess id—you gif id up—yes?” “Nein.” “ By chiminy! you haf guessed it joost righd, mein glever freunt. You drinks von bier on me, ad mein oxpense, free gratis for nodings, midout gosting you a cent, eh?” THE LIFT WAS READY. ss] THOUGHT perhaps you would give me a lift, sir," he said as he entered the office. “You will find the elevator in the front of the building.” replied the book- keeper. HAD TRAVELED ON THE “L" ROAD. Conpuctor—"* Why don't you sit down ?” PASsENGER—"* I'm So used to this.” comicbooks.