Judge — January 23, 1897 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

7 THE BICYCLE FACE. Bi] ET others denounce and deride And hold up to open disgrace, ‘Tis ever my joy and my pride, ‘That dear little bicycle face With eyes brimming over with fun, With cheeks where still lingers the trace Of kisses the mischievous sun Has left on that bicycle face— Surmounted by clustering curls ‘And a cap that is always in place, And owned by the dearest of girls, I'm in love with that bicycle face. CAROLYN WeLLS, THE GENTLE WAR-VESSEL. HE. battle-ship was completed. To-morrow she would be launched! Maidenhood’s fair hand would break athwart her prow the bottle of rare vintage, while maidenhood’s rosy lips would christen her with the name of one of the bright sisterhood of states. Naught remained but baptism and the christening, and after that, perchance, in the far future, the baptism of blood and fire, in com- bat for the country’s honor. It is the witching hour of night—the hour when fairies walk and things inanimate find utterance. On board the battle-ship is none astir. No sign of WELL MET, ss—''A cowld day, Mr. McCarthy.” . Met hure, but ‘tis too hot insoide. Me woife is wash Mrs. McGinness—"' Faith, ‘tis me husband thot's jist puttin’ up th’'s poipe, an’ ‘tis plisanter outsoide, do yez moind ?* A BREAKFAST EPISODE. human life is there. Save for the rhythmic“ swish, swish ” as the tide ebbs and flows in the water-tight compartments there is no motion, Kindly darkness veils the blush of the gaudy paint as it strives to hide the papier-maché the government accepted in lieu of wood; at intervals comes the sharp click that pro- claims the splitting of another of the government's thousand-dollar indestructible bolts. Suddenly the sound of conversation breaks the midnight stillness. “You don’t suppose you could shoot anything, do you?” sneers the ramrod to the gun. “Why, the first time you are loaded you'll recl, and you know it. You couldn't stand being even half-shot. You're more than half-seas over now.” The gun makes an angry pass at the ramrod, but lurches violently on its government-inspected, doubly-secured fastenings. THE table was set with daintiest care, And the buckwheat cakes were light Yet the mistress’s face had a look of pain When she took the very first bite. * ‘These cakes,” she cried, “have a soapy taste. Oh, Bridget! what have you done?" “ Shure, mum, th’ soapshtone griddle is lost, So Oi soaped th’ other one.” NRLEN w, GROVE. NO DANGER. MeLubberty —" Th’ loightnin’ kim down th’ shtove-poipe, smashin’ th’ shtove, tearin’ th’ plasther aff, an’ knockin’ me sinseless fer tin minute O'Hoggarty—" Begorra! yez hod a narry es- cape.” McLubberty own th’ house.” “Oi did not, Bedad! Oi don’t However, nothing is damaged except a section of the deck, which no doubt went to pieces from sheer fright. Meantime the breeze rises and whis- Sue" Now that we are engaged T tles shrilly through the air-tight compartments. A want you to kiss mother when she comes pebble, hustled along by a frolicsome wave, cavorts in.” ASKING TOO MUCH. He—"' Let's break the engagement.” lightly through the costly triple armor-plate and is embedded in the plastic punk the government buys for hulls, The hull is vis- ibly bored; its well-bred yawn soon spreads to a perceptible gap. It is evidently more than half a mind to take water. But morning approaches—the morn- ing of the launching. “How do you feel, my dear?" asks the dry-dock solic itously, “Strong and in good spirits, and up to the notch for your début, I trust?” The battle-ship shivers, and through all her timbers runs a groan of apprehension. “You need a bracer,” sug- J gests the dry-dock kindly. ae “Yes; I feel as if I should sink,” sighs the battle-ship. For verily do the gods upon occasion give speech to things inanimate and foreknowledge to wood and stone fashioned by man’s hands, ANOTHER OF CUPID'S CRUELTIES, (Scene—office of only dentist in town. morning.) SuFFERER—"' Where can I find the doctor?’ Time—Sunday Bystanper—"'Can’t find him to-day. He's over in the next county, spending the day with his best girl.” Surrerer—"* Oh, Lord! what cruelties are done through “A MAN VERY LITTLE ABOVE THE LEVEL OF THE BRUTE.” love !"* Ak MovT. comicbooks.com