Judge — January 9, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

22 MARY. AY as the lay of the warblers of May, Pure as.a pink o' the prairie ; * Bright is the light of her eyes ; in the skies There's no light like the eyes of my Mary. Fleet are the neat little feet of my sweet— Fleet as the feet of a fairy ; Rare as a rose and as pure as the snows The love-distressed breast of my Mary. cy WaRwan. KNEW WHAT HE MEANT. Hungerford—"\ have noticed you al- luding to Jaysmith as‘ Shylocks.’ You mean Shylock, I presume?” Sterlingworth— No; | mean Shylocks. You see, he is nearly bald.” EARLY DRAWBACKS. Mrs. Goodsole— I can see, my poor man, that you never had the advantages of education or a good home. You started early in life on the stony path—a sad case of arrested development.” Lonely Straggles—"1 should tink it wuz, mum. before I wuz fourteen years old.” 1 wuz in jail MORAL—DON'T DEGRADE YOUR GUN-POCKET. SaM—"* Who's thet they're totin’ t' th’ morgue ?” ‘Tonk—"A keerless tenderfoot who wuz playin’ poker.” Ss. ergit t’ treat in turn?” Towr—" Nope ; kerried his cigareets in his hip-pocket. so they all ‘ filled,” an’ he * passed in his chips,’” OUT OF THE QUES- TION. Physician—" Why don't you practice what you preach, Mr. Thumper?” Clergyman —"Oh, you can't expect a doctor to take his own medicine—now can you?” TOO RARE. Mrs. Bloodgood—" Good- morning, Mrs. Boxer, Isn't this a rare November day?” Mrs. Boxer (shivering) — “Rare! I call it positively raw.” A COMPLETE EVO- LUTION. Miss Shorthair—" What changes have taken place in the world!" Professor Longhair — “Yes, indeed, my dear. In the days of Methuselah it was the men who used to lie about their age.” A GOOD CUSTOMER. Countryman—"*Clear out! You cheated me like the mischief the last time you was here.” Jacous—"* Vell, dem’s der gusdomers I don'd like to lose, so I calls again.” FARMER WHIFFLETRER—"* Did you say you was lookin’ fer work ?” Weaxy WiILKINs—" Yes, boss—wid de accent on de was,” Th’ boys thought he wanted t' ‘draw,’ * janitor?” SOME TIME SINCE, SHE SKATES ALONE. RONDEAU. HE skates alone, and swift as swallows fly She skims and glides until she seems a shy, Fleet winter nymph, for whose bewitching sake The frosty gnomes the glitteririg mirrors make All glassy smooth. And ah ! a yearnsome sigh Escapes from scores of swains, who far and nigh To win the slightest notice vainly try, With fancy curves and fine, as o'er the lake She skates alone. But ah ! they fail that with her muff would vie To hold her hand. They little dream that I Alone the place of warming furs may take, And merely sit upon the shore and shake Because I never skate—and that is why She skates alone. PULP VeRRILL stGHRES, ANOTHER ABUSED WOMAN. S¢QET up!" called Mr. Green to his wife one morning. “Oh, paw!" came in grieved tones from be- neath the covers; “I do wish you wouldn't talk to me as if I was a horse.” DrAcon JOHNso! Ape Harpcasi Deacon JOUNSON—"* President, cashier, book-keeper, oF comicbooks.com