Judge — January 9, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Amat. Baunn LM. Gascony, Edit PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, ‘One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, siz months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks - = 1.25 Including the Cwnistmas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To alt foreign countries im the postal union. $0.00. year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BuILpiNo). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. » Gita ter. (BT We guarantee advertivers a larger circulation than any other American satiri- cal paper published. jupce, Juoce’s Linrary and Juvce’s Quantanty are all for sale at Brentane's, se de Opera, Parts: Smith, Ais "01.25 Newcastle itreet. Strand, London } national Chancery Lane, jermany : The Internationa: . Alisth, Geneva, Switeerland. i, Germany and ddrers—" JUDGRARE. "NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- nighit in both the United States and Great Rritain. Infringement of this copyright will be Promptly and vigorously prosecuted. SOMEBODY tells us that onions are wholesome. Possibly—if the man Kore aad eee T LOOKS as if the battle-ship Texas had gone to the state she was named for. N NEW-YEAR’S DAY one may look with confidence for a great popping of corks and questions. we EW PRAYER by the presi- * dent in view of the ex- queen’s visit—"Save me from my great and good friend.” eee HE WINE of the first day of the year is, curiously enough, productive of good resolutions: but they are unavoidably post- poned until the next day. eee HE RIGHT KIND of free trade is judicious protection, and any sensible sound-money Democrat might get under such a banner as that without hurting his own feelings. T IS NOT so remarkable that a murderess in this town should have escaped execution as that she should have survived the evidence of the experts who swore for and against her. A WOMAN is on trial for striking her husband a blow in the neck which killed him. In such cases it is Mr. Earp’s custom to give the purse to the departed, and it is desirable in behalf of the funeral expenses. eee M®- SOVEREIGN is as improper a leader of labor as if the blue blood of his name ran through his veins. As a theorist he favors anarchy, and as a sovereign he would sacrifice his followers to glorify his voice and his proclamations. eae POET tells of going through windrows of new-mown hay to get sweet cider at the old mill for the production of that beverage. The man who wants to be accurate will see that his kind of sweet cider is produced before the apples are grown. THE TRAITOR who betrayed Maceo for two hundred thousand dollars is not a good financier. The sum is not large enough. He should have asked all the money in the world for his crime, and even then he would find his reward a mess of pottage. UNBAPPILY for Weyler’s denial of Maceo’s assassination, there is nothing in the man’s character to show that he may not easily be guilty. He denies one murder, though he is known to have butchered thousands, including women and children. NOT A DOUBT. Z Proressor (after explaining the principles of the X-ray and result)—"* You un- derstand now, I suppose?” Hay Jay—" Oh, yes; I see through it thorougtily.” % Madrid and her chief butcher in Havana, though the latter had THE ART OF MYSTERY. THE WORK of a Japanese poet, according to a writer for the Critic, has “‘a poetic quality which need not be understood to be enjoyed. ° In order to be a truly great poet one must go further than that. The plain proposition is mere prose. If nobody understands it it is poetry. SAVE THESE YOUNG MEN! THE EDITOR of the Buffalo Exfress wants the governor of this state to abolish his staff, and presents the fact, by way'of argument, that the president gets along without that kind of epaulet and glory. Now fuss and feather are not necessary, but they are pretty; and there are a number of young men who would never be heard from but for the peace parade. SOME FOREIGN JEALOUSY. ‘THE EMPEROR OF CHINA is apparently jealous of the fame of Li Hung Chang. The old statesman has lost his yellow jacket, his peacock-feathers and a year's salary for walking on the grass in the royal grounds, and will be fortunate if he keeps his head. He could hardly have been treated worse if he had been the emperor of Germany's most impertinent Bismarck. WHY NOT DISCRIMINATE? 'HERE:ARE GOOD Sunday newspapers as well as sensational Sun- day newspapers. If clergymen who discuss newspapers were just they would discriminate between the good and the bad. They content themselves, however, with denunciation of newspapers that are circulated on Sunday, hoping they may thus drive all Sunday newspapers out of existence, Now it is by far too late for such back-action as that. Yn ally MISDIRECTED AFFEC- : VU], “4 ‘TION. 7 WD? Ky THE PASTOR of a church in this town, aged nearly fifty, has shocked his congregation by concluding to. marry a girl of eighteen, The girl is not only that young, but, dreadful to re- late, she belongs to another con- gregation; though, as a trustee remarks, there are plenty of nice girls in his own flock. We think we can see such a clean, clear way out of this trouble that the respective ages of the bride and groom will have nothing what- ever to do with it, It will be nec- essary only to change the gitl. GLORIFYING CRIME, THE DEATH OF MACEO through conspiracy and by cheap assassins is lamented by all the world excepting Spain and Spaniards. It shocks civilization the more because it was cele- brated by the queen-regent in no right to the assumption of personal triumph which followed it. If the murder of one man means so much, the slaughter of non-combatants, in- cluding women and children, ought to have given Spain the final victory long ago. ANCIENT AND MODERN HISTORY. HE EDITOR of the Evening Post means to be fair in his rather cyn- ical regret that, however much a college student of journalism may know of larger matters, he is likely to be placed under the unpleasant authority of practical journalists who know more of smaller and later mat- ters than he does. Of course it is humiliating to the youth who is up in the dead languages and other superior information; but there really can not be any change in his behalf until the publishers cease to hire editors for their more practical knowledge and experience, or the latter resign their places to give the young collegians room. PROGRESS OF THE QUILTING-BEE, THERE CAN BE nothing of a feminine nature without a club. If women propose to cook, or to ride a wheel, or to do sewing for char- ity, or to fish, or swim, or drink tea, it must all be done by rule and reso- lution, with officers and the whole paraphernalia of organization. Thus the rainy-day club of this town meets regularly to celebrate its adoption of short skirts, and shouts of delight hai! every convert, though the reform involved has aroused no opposition whatever. Is it a revival of the old- time quilting-bee? Or is it more startling because it foretells the woman caucus and finally the woman town, state, and national conventions? comicbooks.com