Judge — January 2, 1897 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TURNING A PAGE. EAR heart, the worldling is looking At bubbles that leap'in the brimming cup, While shadows of drowsiness glim the eye ‘When the gas goes out and the sun comes up. ‘Those frail affairs of the wilder nights— Table-d’hdte messes rolled over the tongue, Various vintages, various sights— Tell me no longer to pose The fin ‘as young. that once were the first to raise Goblet or glass to.a fair one’s name ‘Tremble and twitch in these later days ; Nor bromide nor cocktails assist the same. Ob, yes! The wine is as good to-day ‘AS ‘twas some twenty odd years ago. The cookery? Much the better, I say ; Bat the wheels go round 1 So, dear, by-bye. In the coming age, the bill If ever you think of me, speak me fair. 7 will remember you always, and rage each Jill— Of your glorious eyes and hair. tops now. NOT the least bit slow. Good-night : good-bye. I have paid And tipped the waiter—dof’t raise a row— Get into this cab—there’s a Jack for Bless me! the sun ‘s at the house- De wiTT stEeRy. EXACTLY ACCURATE. N A centain’ school the Pupils the characteristics of the Indians when one of them Brown— Jones Brow: Jonrs—" Very tame, with’ us.” ““T hear you atte were describing . brought down the class by saying, “If the Indian was cheated or given spirits he would turn up the whites and massacre them.” He might not have been well up in Indian lore, but he showed he wi THE FORCE OF CONTRAST. nded that fifty-round prize-fight ?” What did you think of it?" Tam a married man, and my wife’s mother lives sa religious boy when he answered the question, “* Who were the first white people to settle in America?” by saying “Adam and Eve.” Tt was a lesson in table manners, and the teacher thought she had made a good impression. She BILLIE'S SOOTHING INFLUENCE. 1, First BAD MAN—"*Say! I'm the worst son-of-a-hyena that ever hit this town, Are ye listenin’ BAD MAN—"* Look here, you play- thing! Gore is my nateral element.” \ W i ‘a all ama Wie Al if Mi IW li erie il tt Au ec BARN-YARD GOSSIP. Mr, CockoTHewaLK'—"* Say, why did Mrs. Cackle saub you this afternoon ?” Mrs. CockoTHEWALK —"* Oh, she’s jealous because she isn’t in our set.” 2, THE GoaT—" Ob, what a snap!" (Biff) OVER-DUE. Marc ANTONY held aloft the bloody toga of his murdered friend Cassar. “That rent "—he pointed toward the reeking garment—“ is due to’ Brutus.” A voice from the gallery broke the breathless silence. “Why under the sun don’t you pay it to him?” And the bouncer did his work. SEVERAL SHADES OF DIF- FERENCE. Critic—" When is your next play to be perpetrated?” Punky writer — Sic! Critic—*| mean produced.” [vs th’ poor iditor thot has blisters an his brain. was certain of it when a boy replied, in reference to a question about eating soup, You should eat it with a spoon, and never put the spoon clear in your mouth. You might choke.” A WORD IN SEASON. well to know just now, when New-year calling Is with us once again, with all its ‘* balling,” That if in mixing drinks you are particular You'll very seldom lose your perpendicular. NEW WORD FOR IT. Miss Daisy Medders—* What kind of a looking man is your uncle, Mr, Paunch- ly, that you've been telling me about?” Jay Green (modestly) =" Well, he ain’t very tall, but he’s got the biggest— er—er—vocabulary I ever seen. He must measure more than four feet around the rs 3. BAD MEN (in chorus)—"* Say, pard, let's licker up.”