Judge, 1897-01-02 · page 3 of 16
Judge — January 2, 1897 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains four separate humorous sketches typical of Judge magazine's satirical style: **"An Unexpected New Year's Call"**: A sea serpent visits, claiming to prove he's still alive—likely satirizing ongoing public fascination with sea monster sightings. **"The Wayside Booth"**: A poetic piece about a dancer at a fair attraction, celebrating her graceful performance. **"Its Condition"**: A brief joke about a politician's health, with a pun on swallowing a "cod" (possibly referring to a political figure). **"Making Herself Plain"** and **"Not Conclusive Evidence"**: Short domestic humor sketches about family conversations and misunderstandings. The page reflects turn-of-the-century American humor focused on everyday absurdities, cryptozoology curiosities, and domestic comedy rather than specific political figures or events. The satirical bite is gentle rather than pointed.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE SEA-SERPENT—"' Here I am again! kicking.” AN UNEXPECTED NEW-YEAR'S CALL. I guess I wasn't expected to call at this time of the year, but I just thought I'd show ‘em I'm still alive and THE WAYSIDE BOOTH. HE danced upon the wayside. Idlers stood To answer back her smile with mocking smile. Pilgrims and priests went by with lowered hood— Beggars and rulers—women, fair and good, Hurrying their steps, with downward glance, the while ; But children paused frankly and unafraid — Their grave and innocent sweet eyes were stayed To watch the wonder of the whirling lace, The rounded limbs, the bold, dark, lovely face, The bosom bare, the tempting, maddening grace. Soft dimpled hand in hand, they stood, and when Her wide glance caught their sweet, heart-piercing gaze Asa pute Illy grew her cheek, and then She danced for them—she was a child again ! MADRLINE 8. BRIDGES ITS CONDITION. Askins —" How is Jawsmith, the politician, getting on?” Teller — Badly ; his boom seems to have swallowed its cud.” right-angled triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides Do I make myself plain that way?” MAKING HERSELF PLAIN. ow, Thomas, the square of the hypothenuse of a THomas—""I guess so—ma says too much eddication is what makes yon so homely.” \ HE WASN'T SPANKED. BOBBY had fallen into the habit, common to children, of asking for more food than he could well take care of, and his mother had resolved to cure him. So she heaped his plate with food one morning and told him he must eat it all or be spanked. The boy labored hard, but the supply was too great, and at last he turned to his mother and asked in a tone of stufly hope- lessness, “ Say, mamma, which would you rather do—get spanked or bust?” A PASSIVE REVENGE. Northern man (in Arkansas)—" I believe that the men of this region are given to settling their difficulties with acts rather than words. When a citizen considers that revenge is due him he prefers to resort te the gun or knife instead of to slander and backbiting, does he not ?” Prominent native—* Sometimes he does, an’ sometimes he jest goes away visitin’ an’ leaves his well uncovered, an’ the other feller comes snoopin’ around an’ falls into it.” . tells yo’ dat chile am bo'n to be hanged.” Mrs, "KasTus—"* Why yo! say dat?” Mr. ‘Kastus —"* He done cotch one ob de nabor's chicks an’ kill hit.” Mas. 'Rastus (scornfully)—* Huh | His daddy am,still libbip! yet,. dem same symptums too." sais Y ° comicbooks.com