Judge — December 19, 1896 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Christmas Judge A SPRIG OF MISTLETOE. HER RESOLUTION. [ SENT a sprig of mistletoe ++ JOHN,” said Mrs, Skidmore to her husband. To Nan, my heart's de- Yes, my dear.” light, “have determined to pay cash for your Christmas-present And in the note these words this year, so that you will not be complaining of having to pay 1 wrote : for it yourself when the bill comes in.” “*T'M come myself to-night.” “That's very sensible. hel bang it oo the chande. “So you had better give me a lot of money now. ‘The more lier,” you give me the finer present you'll get.” T thought, then dreamt of biiss ; : “ For when the mistletoe she's Y > near 7 She can’t deny a kiss.”” j if Nan greeted me with modest / mien, , My eyes roved round the room, No mystic berries could be seen, And I was filled with gloom. Ve f “* Something you miss?" she archly asked,‘ You did not throw the twig away, Her fond blue eyes a-twinkling. With all its precious berries, “ Where is the mistletoe 2" I gasped. To keep from me on Christmas day * Do not deny an inkling. Your sweet lips, red like cherries 7” She smiled a saucy little smile, ** Oh, no; I did not dare.” T looked again and saw she'd twined Those berries in her hair. WILLIAM HENRY SIVITRR, FROM JUDGE'S DICTIONARY. Santa Claus—An annual mischief-maker and inciter of feuds between papa’s banic-account and his good-nature, and who usually secures a victory for the latter. An old reprobate who is nauseatingly generous with other people's things, and who makes no bones about taking all the credit to himself. Also an individual who, while he works but one day in the year and has no ostensible source of income, squanders money like a lord, He would certainly be arrested as a suspect did he {\ not make his appearance at a time when we are all being too systematically plucked {4 by amateur bunco-steerers to be in a position to lose by the wiles of the profes- \ sional. ¥ IT WAS PLATED, Bit Syxes (robbing a church)—"* Christians, Tom?" Ton (disgusted )—" Nit; scribes and pharisees.” LOOKING FORWARD. ++ AH, GEORGE,” she lisped softly as they sat very. very near each other in her folks’ parlor and watched the fierce October draught chase the furious sparks up her folks’ wide and hospitable chimney; “ah, George, only two short months more and then—how strange it will seem at first!—do you, do you think ‘you can live till then, you foolish boy?” “T suppose I'll have to,” he sighed deeply, and then added fervently, “ Let's see; two months from now will bring around our divorce just before Christmas, won't it? Thank heaven! you'll never have another chance to spring a ten-cent watered-silk green necktie with pink shamrocks stamped upon it on me. Can I live till then? Well, yes; by breathing hard.” And donning his hat and coat he rushed forth tieless but happy into the night. ONE FELLOW'S AMBITION. Freddie—" Say, dad, did you ever see that man on the ferry-boats who plays a cornet, a big drum and a pair of cymbals all at once?” IN CHICAGO, ** Does Mrs. Marree move in good society here 7” “Ob, yes. She is married several times into some of our best families.” Cobwigger— Ves, my boy; I have seen him.” Freddie— Can't you get me an outfit like that for Christmas?”