Judge — December 12, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suage NON-COMMITTAL. ++] SAY, Charley,” said a rounder to our Dutch ba ber as he strolled out into Third avenue; “I say, Charley, how did you vote?” “In von obf dem shicken-coops on der gorner,” he answered with a smile. “T know; but what ticket did you vote?” said his questioner sharply. “Id vas yoost like all der rest—a big von like a noosebaper,” said the good-natured Dutchman, still smiling. “Of course, of course! But what party did you give your vote to?” and his querist was getting warm. “1 gif id to der barty sedding aroundt der table, undt I guess id vas all righd.” And still be smiled. “Say, you Dutch lunkhead! I don’t believe you know how you voted,” said the angry questioner. “Dere vas a couple ohf us, den, ain’d id? voted” Py chiminy! you don’d know how 1 And, still smiling, he sauntered around the corner. IT MAY BE POSSIBLE.: s 4] T IS the most remarkable discovery of the age—something I never expected to see— an entirely unlooked-for fact—a "—— “In heaven's name! what is it “You could never have guessed it—you couldn't guess it in a lifetime.” “ What is ee * Here is an absolutely decent piece of news in the one-cent Howler.” “Oh, that can’t be an event; it’s simply a mistake.” ITS SPARKLE, 66] T FWEEZED up so twiek zis mornin’,” said Margie, who had been to the river, zat a lot of daylight dot taughted in ze ice.” MIRAA SILO Susvwek Ge PRACE Niels os JUST LIKE FINDING. You are charged with burglary. How do you plead?” * Not guilty. boss; an’ I'll tell yo" why. secon’ place dar wuz no burglar-alarm ; in de third place dar wuz no bull-dog ; an Now dat ain’ burglary et all, boss; dat's jes’ simply findin’ chickens, an’ I leabe it toe yo'sai THE NEW WOMAN IN THE WEST. ‘Vu puncners—"*Come on, boys! Let's knock this town clean off th’ In de fust place de chicken-coop doah wuzn't eben locked; in de in de fourf place dar wuz no steel traps. IN GROGAN'S ALLEY Reverend Doterut Dumps—'* Don't you know, young man, that you should never raise your hand in anger against a weaker brother?" SON OF THE TENEMENTS—"‘Aw, g’wan! give ‘im a chuck in de slats.” I didn't. 1 jes’ WHY? [ THINK it’s awtutly funny, The things grown people say, When all of us little fellows Must talk the properest way. When grown-up folks talk of bi- cycles For short they call ‘em bikes ; But when / speak of icicles ‘They'd laugh if I said ikes JUDITH srexcer, SUICIDAL. Mrs, Cobwigger— Every body says the charity bail was a failure.” Mrs. Dorcas—"So it was. The committee cut down the expenses so that there would be something left for charity.” JUST LIKE AN ENG- LISHMAN. 6° HO invented the saying, Ww ‘He laughs best who laughs last'?” “He must have been an Englishman.” But they were unfamiliar with the ways of our lady cyclist. jography.” comicbooks.com |