Judge — November 21, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

330 AN ABSENT-MINDED MAN. EIS the most absent-minded man I ever heard of,” ree marked Clingstone ; “ my eldest brother Benjamin, | mean. If they were not fastened to him Benjamin would forget his feet when he goes out for a walk.” “Perhaps you can recall a particular instance of his absent-mindedness,” suggested Tenspot. “I can recall a good many particular instances, but 1 tell you only one this time. Benjamin became pos- sessed of the idea one day that he must have a box ina safe-deposit vault. He did not own anything particularly valuable, but he thought it would be nice to go into a big stone building, key in hand, and open his safe, rummage among whatever papers happened to be therein, look im- | portant, pass the time of day with the keepers, and brush clothes with capitalists whose safes were full of govern- ment bonds and other securities.” “Well, that is a very good idea,” replied Tenspot. “L have such a safe myself.” “ Well, Benjamin secured his safe in the Unlimited Trust and Confidence vaults, and he received two keys, duplicates. He was told that no safe could be opened, even by its owner, until the master key, kept by the custodian of the vault, had turned the tumblers in the lock half around. Neither could the process of unlocking be completed without one of the keys which had been given to him. Benjamin was very happy with his safe. He visited it every day. He went around among differ- ent members of the family and obtained from them a few insurance policies and a savings-bank book or two, which he persuaded his brothers and sister to confide to the care of his fire- and burglar-proof safe, assuring them that the valuable documents would be perfectly safe, even though a hostile foe should capture the city. All went well fora month or two. Then my sister wanted her bank-book, and when Benjamin went to the safe-deposit vaults to get it he discovered that he had lost his key-ring. He applied to the custodian, but that functionary told him it was im- possible to open the safe without Benjamin's own key. “+ But I've lost it,’ replied Benjamin. + Well, you were provided with a duplicate kev, to be used in just such an emergency, Bring that and.un- lock your safe. * But L can’t,’ replied Benjamin. * You don’t mean to say that you haye lost that too?” “No, but I put it in my safe and locked it up for f safe-keeping,’ explained that absent-minded brother of WILLIAM WieNRY SIVITEM, ROUGH ON THE VERY FACE OF Ir. Mr. McFlanagan com- plains that the beautiful pair of black eyes that were given him as a birthday present were not bestowed by the donor in an open-handed manner. COMPENSATION, HEN 1 go a-wheeling with Polly T can't goas fast as I'd like ; For though she is clever and jolly, She's only just learning to bike. So we spin along at our leisure I let others fly by, and 1 smile— For when I am riding for pleas- ure A miss is as good as a mile. HIS DIMENSIONS. gg les—" By Jove! That aiter is very tall, isn’t Grimshaw —" Nes; he must measure at least. six feet two from tip to tip. CLOSE. First wheelman— “Weren't the roads dusty to-day Second wheelman— “They felt so. Carrain HALPRACT my men getting his hair foot-ba VI fix him ** T'll bet four dollars that’s one of 0 evaile playing in to-morrow’s Hoe Ke aA A THANKSGIVING DAY. He feels thankful because he can feel. A SYMPHONY OF NATURE. FAR vp a mountain pathway, where the crags hang steep and high, And fir-trees inake a net-work of their arms across the sky, T heard a fairy concert where the music was so sweet T laid me down to hearken in an ecstasy complete. The brook-way was the concert-hall, and every tiny wave Laughed out its voice in melody I hushed my breath to save ; The score was written on the rocks, but each one knew its part, And dashed away to join the song with eager, willing heart. The ferns grew by the water, where they stooped to listen low, And waved their dainty batons with a gentle motion slow ; ‘The ripples watched their movements, so they sang in perfect time— A happy flowing cadence, like a harmony of rhyme, I could not count the singers as they sang on glad and free— Some drippling voices hit the shore and splashed to upper C ; Hut, oh, the rushiiig chorus, it was madly, gladly gay, And shadows bent beneath the trees to hear it on their way. Thus the’ world is full of music'and Nature has her so “That can hush away life's discords in a heart where pain belongs. Go hear the wonder-conceft on the pathway up the hill ; And peace will touch your weariness and bid vour woes be still. HOLL LIVINGSTON CARY. jl But as it happened, it was only Mr. Golswan getting his whiskers trimmed. dit not ha \2—Ark Irisasl jwith cheay ing Dre jg nuine, Sue—"* nerve to h class of ¢ Mayme- }A\s Soon ai horrid. stu red me Buy it 3 with a bed tra Dry ¢ A youn jof_his fir Asas troubles | land for n BOKER me’ until is suing | z}was abot irl in th Clevelan ji