Judge, 1896-11-14 · page 4 of 16
Judge — November 14, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page from **Judge** (a late 19th/early 20th-century American satirical magazine) contains several humorous sketches about courtship and daily life. **Major content:** The centerpiece, "His Opportunity," satirizes a young clerk's futile attempts to court a woman named Ethel. She consistently rebuffs his calls by claiming prior engagements—dinners, musical clubs, kindergarten, shopping, theater parties. The joke targets both the clerk's low social status ("a clerk in one") and the woman's impossibly packed social calendar, mocking both class anxiety and the busy leisure activities of prosperous women. "Faking Farragut" depicts a confused figure who mistook a nettle patch for something else—unclear without more context, though it parodies overblown newspaper accounts. Minor pieces mock romantic misgivings about wedding gifts, a boxer's "writer's cramp" excuse, and domestic gender dynamics ("The Supremest"). **Overall tone:** Light social comedy aimed at urban, middle-class readers, poking fun at courtship rituals, social climbing, and gender relations of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Photo, by Falk. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MINNIE FRENCH AS “INNOCENT KID," Once Mary bad a little kid— no! it was a /amé that did But, ‘The following her to school, and all that rot. ‘There ts the Lambs club, itis true, Amongst your following—but you Don't seem to care much if school keeps or not. SHE HAD MISGIVINGS. +s YOU don’t seem to take what I say seriously,” complained young Mr. Spatts to Miss Kittish, “I don’t,” replied the maiden candidly, “I have my misgivings about a young man so addicted to the free and unlimited coinage of com- pliments.” WORTH A SECOND THOUGHT. With romantic hope She'd arranged to elope, But she learned, with emotion great, In that case she'd receive no wedding gifts, ‘So now she’s content to wait. A GOOD REASON, ** Why didn’t the fight come off?" “One of the pugilists had an attack of ‘writer's cramp.’ THE CaT—"* Great Scott! no wonder that little pig is fat.” oe P uage POOR FELLOW! ALTHOUGH he wooed ber long and hard, His love she seemed to shun ; She set no store by him because He was a clerk in one. HIS OPPORTUNITY. He—"1 would like to have a little talk with you, Ethel. When may I call?” ‘She (kindly) —" You dear boy, why, any time.” He—" To-morrow afternoon?” She —“ We're going out to dinner.” He— Evening, then ?” She —“ We are to spend the evening too.” He —* Well, Thursday night?” She —" Thursday night is my musical club, as you ought to know.” He- could come Friday morning.” She— Oh, that’s kindergarten.” He—" The afternoon?” FAKING FARKAGUT (agonited/y)—"* Blue blazes. She—“ Let me see—some girls are Ef I'd known it wuz a nettle-patch I had ter make me invited for five-o'clock tea.” escape t'roo I would uv surrendered ter de dorg at first !" He—"All right. Suppose we say Saturday ?” She—"The matinée! and we're going in a crowd. I couldn't miss hat /* He—" And 1 suppose Sunday “— She—" Mamma never approves of Sunday callers. And on Monday we give a ladies’ luncheon. I might ask you to dinner if you care to meet two ministers and "— He (promptly)—" I don’t. How would Tuesday answer?” She—"Let me think, I am due at the girls’ mission at nine, then I fly back for a bite of lunch—our art committee meets at two, then I come home to receive a call that I expect, and I must get in a little shopping, but I shall have to be at home for dinner on account of grandma, and—-oh, of course! we are going to a theatre-party and to supper afterward. We could hardly manage it for Tues- day.” He (cheerfully) —“ Oh, yes; 1 think so. I can get the day off, and I'll come and sit on your front stoop. Then I can talk to you as you go in and out.” MADELINE 5. DKIDGRS, TO A DECANTER. [8 SPITE of all thy virtues rare ‘Thou'rt not a boon companion fair ; ‘Thou'rt full of wine when thirsty I, And when I'm drunk then thou art dry. GH. M. RUMBOLD. n THE SUPREMEST. APA,what's the supreme court?” “ When he gets her, my child.” A FREE SAMPLE. lin ap STOCK QUOTATION. Tobacco is strong. comicbooks.con} |