Judge — November 7, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE WAS GRATEFUL. PDIKE," said Fosdick, who had answered the telephone ring, “here's a message saying that your house is burning down.” “Thank heavens!" replied Updike fervently. “What makes you say that? Is it insured for several times its value?” “Ob, no; but my wife has cards out for a pink tea for to-morrow after- noon and now she can’t have it.” THE THINKING HABIT. THINKING is a bad habit. Thoughts and a quarter with a hole in it are two things that nobody cares for. Some people have thoughts to give away— ike, for instance, the men who wrote those things called proverbs, such as“ The early bird catches the worm.” Now this is a great thought. If I had a thought like that I would pour alcohol on it and put it in a glass bot- te to show to my friends, Any person ought to be proud of athought like that, and the entire family ought to rent a larger house on the strength of it. THE UNIVERSAL CURSE. Housewife—" It is dreadful to think what whisky will JUST AS GooD. bring a man to. Mrs. FINNEGAN —"* Well, Patsy, did yez shtand at th’ head av yure class at school Tramp—" That's so, mum. Afore I took t’ de road | today?" never thought I would hev t'eat sich things ez are bein’ ,_, PATSY FixwxGaN—"'No, mother; but I stood om th’ head uv me class after school an’ i f kicked th’ deuce out uy ‘im.” handed out t’ me every day. 1. “Great Santa Claus! I believe I've got those very symptoms. — 2. — Yes, the deadly lan- guor— 5. ——terrible pains and 6. —the awful choking 7 — the ringing in the x 8, ——with the horrible pains throbs in the head— sensation——~ cars— in the back — ark EO 9. —and the spots before the ooo 16; —ObS Loed | teat eaten 1 aio ensg oe uP: FOR Old lon al go. dowa ‘end THE PATENT-MEDICINE ADVERTISEMENT AND THE NERVOUS GENTLEMAN. comicbooks.com