Judge — October 31, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A NEW SONG. NLY one girl in the world for me,” Sang a maiden ripe and old. What does the brute want— two or three, Or a string, like the horse- men bold? “There's only one man in the world for me” I'm thinking that song should say. “1 make it my work to watch and see That the man doesn't get away.” HANDICAPPED AT THE START. ¢6LJAVE you had any fun this vacation, Davie?" asked the teacher, “Not much. You see, we had a baby at our house ‘fore we could get the fun started.” THE INFLUENCE OF ART. A REMINDER. FOR his seven prudent virgins heemployedasinglemodel, Farmer SitH—"* Jes’ got a letter frum Hiram at Yale, Says he gits terrible homesick at ‘. * ti hd But, having finished those, Tees Sattrit—"* Poor boy !" When he tried his best to press her into service for the others Faraer Smitu—" Ya-as. Says every time he goes by th’ ol’ pump on th’ green it reminds She refused point-blank to pose. him uv milkin -time at home.” HOW THE CITY IMPRESSED HER. S WE came flying through the “red-brush" country of eastern Kentucky not long ago, on a Chesapeake and Ohio train, the con- ductor became chatty and talked about the peculiar people who lived in that section, “ Mighty queer lot some of them are,” he said, “ when they first come out of their shells and go up against the big outside world with all its modern conveniences. One of the funniest things happened not long ago. A nice old woman from the back row went down on my train to visit some relative or other of hers who was living in Louis- ville. The old lady was nervous, and confided to me that she had never been away from home before and had no idea what a city was like. She also asked my advice on various points, all of which I was glad to give her, and she seemed greatly encouraged by what I told her. Of course, when she left my train I supposed I never would see her again; but within a week I met her going home. She was right glad to see me, and when I had afew minutes” leisure I sat down with her to ask her about the kind . A BAD CASE. of time she had FLYNAGAN—"' Oi see th’ docther goin’ t’ yer house, Mrs. Murphy.” Mus. Muxrny—" Vis; Murphy is bad off. ‘Th’ docther sez he has th’ day. bad and what lariums wid trimmin’s.” she thought of the great city. “*T never did have sich a nice time,’ she said with as much en- thusiasm as the genuine native ever shows, ‘an’ I ruther like the city fer some things; but ther’s one thing I noticed as kinder odd.’ “And what was that?" I asked, thinking I was going to get some- thing in the moralizing line. “* Well,’ she said deprecating- ly, ‘they allus seemed to be behind with ther haulin’, an’ kep’ ther teams runnin’ ‘most all night every night.’ 3 aaron INCOMPREHENSIBLE, HER lite was fettered with a golden OF A WELCOME: eal ComEp1AN—"Oh, but you must come down, you . know, need you in my new comic opera.” To falsehood ; and they said she Ou Joxe—" Really, I'd rather not. I'm much could not know. too old, and been in’ every comic opera since the Could she have broken it to lift her flood. I'm very often recognized, and I hate publicity.” head Comeptan—"* Never mind, old boy. I'll trim your . . whiskers and give you a new pair of goloshes ; and, be- She would have scorned it, for she sides, it's for a New York audience.”” loved him so. Oxp Joxe—*' Oh, that's different. Help me down.” yen A FIRE PLUG. P | comicbooks.com|