Judge — October 31, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“A GREAT ANIMAL PAINTEK.” MIXED THOSE CORPSES UP. N OLD man who had buried a fourth wife, and dutifully erected a head-stone over each, determined, when it was decided to move the cemetery, that for economical reasons he would move his. wives himself, and in so doing, in some incredible way, got them slightly mixed; and in his honest simple- mindedness the stones which had formerly served would not do, so he caused to be erected in the centre of the new lot one very imposing stone, on which was inscribed this touching verse : ** Stranger, pause and shed a tear, Emily Church lies buried here, Mingled in some mysterious manner With Mary, Matilda, and probably Hanner.” A NEW DEFINITION. Bobby —* Clara, what is the rule-of-three ?” Clara (his big sister) —" Three is a crowd.” JUST WHAT HE WANTED First UNDERTAKER — with you?" SkCOND UNDERTAKER * How's business * Dead.” _ It has been rumored that many young ladies who were perfectly content with the summer style of sleeve for ‘ninety-six — A WAR MEMORY. Suage HN SMITHERTON, though Joes thin, At fighting yet was stout. At soldiering they broke him in When the civil war broke out. One vision lured his youthful hopes— A sailor man to shine. Alas { they made this man of ropes A soldier of the line. They asked him why he volunteered, But John he slyly laughed ‘And said, with such a cough he feared To stay out in a draft Socalmly ‘neath the war-cloud black He heard the foemen's yells, Who, finding a hard nut to crack, Just threw at him the shells. He counted social fates as naught, Nor heeded fashion's call ; But just to test their charm he thought That he'd take in a ball. ** Ob, for a cot,” he oft had sung. **'In some vast wilderness!” And so he got a cot among ‘Some thousands in distress. ‘Though then cut down one foot about ‘They said he was enlarged ; That is, the doctors fired him out What time he was discharged, ‘Thereafter he grew fat and strong, ‘As well deserved the brave : But people said, * He can’t live long With one foot in the grave.” IN CITY-HA Micky! Micky ! Wot ist?” —" An’ I've got one fer yous.” “Very much erbliged, but I whitewashin’ coal.” YE CANDIDATE E CANDIDATE went forth to seek For men who have a pull, And of that kind, ye truth to speak, Ye state was over full. I got er job for yer!” hovelin’ daylight inter a dark basement.” Bat live he did, an artist rare ‘As ever you might see, And drew what kept him fat and fair, His pension quarterly. His standing joke is earnest praise | Upon his foemen put ; “ However badly whipped,” he says, ** They ne‘er gave back a foot.” A. 7, WORDEN: LL PARK, cawn't take it; I've got er dead cinch AND YE PULL. And yet ye candidate was sad, And for man's grace did beg ; Because ye pull these fellows had Was ye pull upon his leg. OBVIOUSLY. —— are bitterly opposed to the coming style for fall and winter wear. comicbooks.cp