Judge — October 10, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE colonel 's going to give a tea— A five-o'clock. The scene, his place beside the sea At Mossy Rock. This function with his guests will take, For girls in gowns of fetching make Are barred, likewise soft drinks and cake, ‘At Mossy Rock. To every cup the colonel pours At Mossy Rock, In cooling breezes out of doors At Mossy Kock, He'll add some ice, some lemon-juice, Some sugar, then some green chartreuse, Aor of rum. They'll play the deuce At Mossy Rock, CHANLES SUMIER CLARK. THE TWO SIDES OF IT. Pessimist—" Some men have a mighty hard time in this world, | think. Now here | am. I've been married fifteen years and have seven children to take care of.” Optimist— THE COLONEL’S TREAT. (A military tea.) ‘Aw, what's the matter with you? Just think The colonel’s hand will make the tea ‘At Mossy Rock, Upon the lawn beneath a tree ‘At Mossy Rock. A pot of strong Oolong he'll brew, A napkin then he'll strain it through ; And this the colonel ‘s going to do At Mossy Rock : how much worse it would be if you had been married seven years and had fifteen children.” A PERMANENT EQUALITY. IFTY years ago a shoemaker sat pegging away and talking to some idle men gathered around I would make a law that all the rich men should divide their property among the poor and let us all start equal.” One of the listeners said, “In ten years there would be the same difference that there is now, “Then,” said the shoemaker, “ by hokey ! let ‘em divide again. him. Said he, “ Now the laws are all wrong. = ATTACHING THE BLAME. Weary Jake (toho has received the thrown mail-pouch in the ear, angrily)—" Dis'll Jearn me not ter do enny more restin’ near a jerkwater post-offis station,” IN AUTUMN. TROUGH all the woodland, leaf-embowered, Floats fair October's sun-warm dieam-- A scarlet ribbon, yellow-flowered, Entwined in sky and spray and stream. All bright, all still, save where one hears Shy zephyrs gliding to and fro, With auguries of grief and tears And presciences of sleep and snow. CLAWENCE URMY. TO USE EXTERNALLY. Customer —“ my sister.” Drug-clerk—" What kind of zinc? There are about forty kinds. What does your sister want to use it for?” Customer—"\ don't know the kind. She said I must not tell what she wanted it for.” Drug-clerk—" Was it oxide of zinc she wanted?” “Yes, that’s it—outside of zinc to want ten cents’ worth of zinc for THE ANTIDOTE. oe [™ VERY fond of watermelon,” remarked Mr. Gummey, “ but it always gives me the stom- ach-ache.” “ You just wait until my idea is perfected,” re- plied Mr. Glanders, “and then you can eat water- melon with impunity.” “What is your idea?” “To graft the watermelon-vine on the root of the Jamaica-ginger plant.” POKER. THE SIMILITUDE, Flowery Fietps—‘‘Ah, Bill, de autumn-leaves remind me uv de boltin’ Democrats.” Weary WILLIE—"* ‘Cause dey're froze out?” FLOWERY FigLvs—"No; ‘cause dey’re turnin? gold an’ comin’ down gracefully.” . | comicbooks:com ,