Judge — September 26, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FINESSE. HROUGH the hot, dusty roads of Kansas a would-be homesteader was pursuing his way tu the Cherokee strip, in search of one of Uncle Sam's free homes. He had his family and goods in a shaky prairie-schooner, which was drawn by two feeble re ==) horses near dissolution. Pind z “Whar you bound?” asked a farmer at whose house he stopped for water. “Fer a hunderd an’ sixty acres o’ gover'ment land in th’ strip,” responded the traveler bombastically. A few months later the same man stopped again at the Kansas farmer's for water, this time traveling north. “Whatcher done with yer hunderd an’ sixty acres?” asked the farmer with a note of suspicion. “See them mules thar?” queried the homesteader, pointing to a fine pair of animals which was harnessed to the“ schooner.” “T traded eighty acres o' my claim fer ‘em.” “ Whatcher do with th’ other eighty?" pressed the farmer. “Don't give it away till I git further off. Th’ feller was a tenderfoot, an’ I run th’ other eighty acres in on ‘im without his knowin’ it. NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACE. +S THAT,” said a bicyclist to his friend as they bowled away from a road-house where they had spent the night, A HARD ONE TO SPOIL. ORATOR OF THE DAY (at the Cobbville woman-suffrage picnic)—"* Some says thet we “should be called the Misfihotel. There was hair in the food An" Mie acomer, MaPoitncie ha muay, Whe" ive ened in every county lestion nent th ‘ninety-one an’ I hain't spiled yit.” > fit Why, I've voted in every county ‘lection sence and none in the mattresses.’ A YACHTING TRIP. LONG the lonely strand I rove. Do you remember when o'erhead_ ine squall spread, dark and wide, You oid not show the slightest dread, But, clinging by my A thousand ages gone. 1e, Braved the wild wind’s rough bang and Avsiyoes sega lon ag that When I—oh, lucky chap !— ‘Was wont to wear your sailor-hat_ a, While'at each thunder-clap ‘And you my yachting cap. Theld on to your sailor-hat, ‘You to my yachting cap? On Spendrock’s yachting trip it was. Thated Aime for fairs An, this was bliss, for storms compelled And only went, sweetheart, because Spendrocks to flee below, POKER—A “FULL” HAND. ‘Three jacks and a pair of tens, You told me you'd be there. I know not where we sailed —what te Itude. by chart or map; But ob, I wore your sailor-hat ‘And you my yachting cap. The pretty Phryne! How she pushed Her saucy nose straight through The curling billows as they rushed In swirls of white and blue. His nautical ambition quelled, His pride and head laid low. Your mother too, sick as a cat, ‘She did not care a rap Whether I wore your sailor-hat, Or you my yachting cap. ‘Alay! that was the sweetest time fhat came ‘neath moon or sung Yet, with their impudence sublime, what the years have d You're Mrs. Spendrocks—yes,tha ‘And life ‘snot worth a soaps For now be wears your sailor-hat ‘And you his yachting cap. MADELINE 5 BRIDGES, A STERN REALITY. With all the steam calliope’s faults Farmer Green loves it “still.” comicbooks.com