Judge — September 12, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ABE AN ADVERTISING MEDIUM. Rosexnammer (impresario in the winter and seaside-hotel proprictor in sun .)—"Kum, hurry ub dere, you fellers, mit dat sea-serbent. I haf written to dose reborters to kum down Sunday, mer, to his proper nan and stage-carpenter, le und ve musd ged him afload.” THE CORRECT TERM. TV clergymen crossing the ocean occupied the same state-room. The ship pitched violently, and one of the divines was thrown unceremo- niously out upon the floor. “ What kind of a curve did the ship describe then, b asked the more fortunate, “a parabolic curve?” -* No,” answered the luckless one as he clambered back; “a diabolic curve.” PRECAUTION AGAINST ILLNESS. Maw— See heah, yo Chollie! whar yo'r little brudder Fred?” Cholli. de gas-mete Afaw—" Yo' bring him up right quick. Fust I knows he'll have gastritis. I doan’ want no sickness in dis fam'ly.” PROBABLY WOULD. Bridget —"Arrah, Moike! shure yer not goin’ lookin’ fer a job av a Froida’, whin ‘tis sich an unlucky day?” Michael—“An’ won't th’ bad luck be t'th’ mon thot hoires me?” “ He in de cellah, maw, playin’ wif \ Jim Jackson—" Now, Abe, let us take a calm an’ dispassionate view ob dis gold an’ silvah ques- tion.” Ape Harncasr—“‘All right, Jim; let us use clarified courtesy an’ nuffin’ else, "Now it stan’s toe reason dat". joun: Jie fackso: ‘An JOUNSON—" No; shingle-nails. chicken.coop hersaif an’ feil off de roof wif her mouf full.” N—'* Ingrowin’ nails, oe-nails?” NOT SLANG THIS TIME. se WELL. wife, you can soon collect the insurance,” said the sick man dolefully. “ Not on your life!" replied the poor woman in alarm, HER MELTING EYE, ONLY 2 maid with a meting eye And a summer man together. He'll pop the question or she'll know why, Subdued by the charm of her meiting eye (For she is a spider and he's a fly); And it's just the sort of weather To aid a maid with a melting eye And a summer man together. 0.7 rise, WIND. SOV HAT was that dreadful explosion?” “A Chicago man, I-presume, has been run into by a trolley-car.”” NO CONSOLATION. Ss P)OBBER, old fellow, they seem to recog- nize you as an exponent of high art.” “Do they?” “Yes; they have skied your pictures,” Jim Jacksox—* No, it don't, needer. I dis- pute'dat point.” Ane Harpcasi GOLD VERSUS SILVER, hare-brained silvah lunatic no mo’, Jim Jackson—"' I won't nebah argify wif a bigoted “Oh, yo' does. does yo’, _gold-bug agin.” yo’ wall-eyed army-mule?” Aue, HAwpcase—"'An’ I won't nebah reason wif a She insisted on fixin’ de comicbooks.com