Judge — September 5, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A KISS. COULD describe how fair she was. Her lips soft swelling Had made me ask for just one kiss— But that is telling. M I could say how her eyes said yes, My fears dispelling ; Yet how her lips re- mained demure— But that is telling. I could say how she turned her head, Faintly rebelling ; And how I won the kiss at last— But that {s telling. Ww I could say how I closed her lips, Their anger quelling. is good. The only harm Is in the telling. Kissi L A SUMMER STORY. "" said the good-looking young man to the nine butterflies about him, you have twitted mea good deal because I do not get married. Now I make you this proposition : I'll marry the girl whom on a secret vote you elect to be my wife.” Each girl went into a corner and used great precaution in preparing her ballot and disguising the handwriting. The result of the vote was that there Mae omen AN IMPOSSIBILITY, Mrs. Newtywen (pathetically) —"' Is that ze Mir, N Mrs. Newhywen (most pathetically) — “Oh, oh, oh! Is that the man I thought could lock up to with respect and admiration when | married him?’ Mr. NewLywi shame man, M'ria: shame man. Don't ‘spect t' look up t' me from where you are, do yeh? 1 ain't zhe man in zhe moonsh.” were nine votes cast, each girl re- ceiving one. The young man is still a bachelor and the girls are mortal enemies. A MIDSUMMER SOLIL- OQvyY. Weary afternoon -teaite— “ Really, I thought the season over; but here is another card. Even at the country-side the tea fad follows me. ‘A féte for the benefit of the Oolongville circulating library.’ This time it’s chari-tea, a different vari- ety, and of expensive flavor.” MASTER AND MAN. Judkins—De Routter's man brought him home drunk last night. I thought he had reformed.” Mudkins—" No; bis physician put him on whis ky and milk.” Judkins—" Well?” Mudkins—"He drinks the whisky and his man drinks the milk.” GREAT IMPROVE: MENT. Cawker—" Young Pennibs is doing better than ‘he. did in the poetry line.” Cumso— Why, he told me he hadn’t written anything for a couple of months.” Cawker — That's what I mean” AN HONEST man is a bond-servant to his creditors. AMENDE HONORABLE. Horen-warrxr—"' Is dere ennyt'ing else, boss?” Coronet. Kentuck (who had been dallying with New York whis- y)—" Yas. I made a statement thet water wa'n’t no good in any way, manner or shape, Thank ther bar-keeper fer th’ ice, an’tell him I apolo- gize humbly.” JUDGMENTS FROM MR. MCGARVEY. [T'S ovef-rwor-rk thot makes a felly sour. Remimber, me bye, a felly niver gits dr-runk till he do be too far gone t git home sober. Oi've lost me confoidince in Gilligan since th’ toime he took an hour t’ make a tin-minute spache. Soize up a woman by her fait. attintion sh’ do be stuck on her own face. Whin sh’ gives ‘em gr-reat Shure, Oi pity th’ sick, Oi saw an owld felly the day thot did be havin’ t’ sit down most av th’ toime he wor walkin’ a block. Whin it’s thr-roat tr-rouble th’ kid has it’s mesilf thot b'laves th'long wor-rds he do be taught in school gits tangled round his wor-rd flipper. There do be nothin’ loike mother love. Shure, whin me gir-rl did git a car-rbuncle on her nick me woman wor thot pr-roud as if “twor an imerald. DAVID H. TALMADGE, A GENERAL RESEMBLANCE, Mrs. Farmern—* You're the tenth tramp that's been here to-day.” Frowery Fietps—'Are yer sure de udder nine wuzn't bicyclists, lady?" comicbooks.com