Judge — September 5, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— Brennan Giitam. 1. M. Guncony, Sditor. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TQ SUBSCRIBERS. ONETRD STATRS AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, ‘One copy, one-year. or s2 numbers - $5. ‘One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy. for thirteen weeks = = é Including the Cunisratas JupGR FORBIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreizn countries im the postal union, $0.00 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE BUILDING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York, We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satiri- hed. ‘News Co 18, Leipsic, Germa ad. Ch, B. Alioth, Geneva, Switeeria’ Cable address— ” £27 NOTICE TO PURLISHERS.—The contents of Juvce are protected by copy right in both the United States and Great Britain. Lofringement of this copyright will be Promptly and vigorously prosecuted. WELCOME TO LI HUNG CHANG —"See, the conquered hero comes.” eae IX THIS CIRCUS Mr. Bryan officiates as the man with the iron jaw. RONOUNCED OPINION of the middle-of-the-road Demo- crat—" I dunno, I dunno.” ry W SUPPOSE if Dr. Jameson had won that fight the rascal would have got fifteen years. eee THEY TELL of a woman who has “a soft, purring footstep.” That, we suppose, is poetry for new shoes. To WATSON contributes pro- fusely to the gayety of nations, and oils his jaws with his own elo- quence. THE POPULIST is an earnest thinker, but his conclusior come too soon and are broken off in the middle. ING MENELEK lets nobody in his country wear gold jew- elry, except his wife. That’s the kind of a monometallist he is. WE DO NOT believe that ‘Thomas Jefferson is turning in his grave, as some persons allege. He is trying to craw! through the bottom of it. mahn. Ef de young vi ellah fo" one ob dem golf-sticks !" THE POPULIST has long hair and whiskers and chews a straw, ‘The Democrat wears his hair short and pulls his cider through the minute cylinder, THE KNEIPP CURE consists in walking barefooted in the grass morn- ing and evenipg. Let us hope that the tack-throwers will not get after that fad too. THE MR. SIRE who has paid Miss Jacobs over fifty-two thousand dol- lars for breach of promise is a good deal more of an infant than his name would indicate. EASTERN TRAMP has a hard time of it when he goes west. The tramps of that climate look upon him as a product of Wall street and a bloated bond- holder. THE SPIRITISTS at Lily Dale have a psychic class whose members “will soon be ready to project their egoes to any part of the world.” That is taking a mean advantage. What harm has the world done them? CosmLe a SE WiTe eee = WASH GOLF CRAZE STKIKES BLACKVILLE, Tue Rev. Darke (angrily)—"* Jess wait twell I lays han’s on dat son ob jpah ain't gone an’ took dle stick out ob mah baist umber- INSURGENTS IN SPAIN. THE CUBAN INSURRECTION has been carried to Spain. The country swarms with insurgents, who are inciting the natives to riots against taxes. Certainly there has been no previous Cuban trouble of the enormity of this. If the government isn’t careful the insurgents will break through the Spanish trocha into Madrid and carry off the government. RIGHTS OF HOME INDUSTRY. RS. LEASE says she employs a fashionable dressmaker who imports her gowns for her. When that lady runs for president she will find that that fact will be the cause of her defeat. Home dressmaking is as good as home silver and silver-mining—we can tell her that. George Washington imported his wearing apparel, and where is George Washing- ton now? NATURAL KICKERS, THE DECLARATION of Senator Jones that the southern populists are men who are out for the spoils, and that as a general thing they “will go With the negroes, where they belong,” may lessen the Bryan populistic vote; but it has the virtue of considerable truth, and on the whole it won't shock any populists to death. Those fellows have such a liking for oppo- sition that they would get very angry if Jones or somebody else should pay them a compliment. Mt AN UNAVOIDABLE ISSUE. SHE TARIFF will have to be an issue long enough to enable this government to raise money enough to pay its running expenses. It is a little matter of business that cannot be avoided. The govern- ment must not be bankrupted, and it must be able to pay those of its debts that have been created by a tremendous deficiency. Bond is- sues are a disgrace to a nation as rich as this, and unnecessary inter- est-paying is a crime. Give. the government money enough to pay its way. TRIMMING DOESN'T PAY: P!TY THAT Senator Hill isn’t as frank and outspoken for hon- est money as Roswell P. Flower. ‘The fact may have a good deal to do with the Democratic national convention of 1900—if there hap- pens to be a Democratic party at that time. The senator has recent- ly won a great name for honesty as well as ability. If he chooses not to deserve it he will make a great mistake, ‘There are many Demo- who want to vote for him for president, and he is the only man who can drive them from their al- legiance, OLD AND NEW ERAS, A THEOSOPHIST of this town claims that ages ago he was a bird and that he had a mate. This mate is at present a woman and is married to another man, and what he wants is to have her leave that man and fly away with him. And surely there is precedent for such action. Only a few days ago Grandmother Democracy left her family and is at present in the hands of men who until recently were total strangers to her. The deserted persons are incon- solable; but we are obliged to make progress in theosophy, populism, repudiation and lots of things of a similar character, A RELIEF FROM THE LUNATICS. ‘THE SOUND-MONEY CONVENTION at Indianapolis deserves com- parison with the recent gatherings at Chicago and St. Louis, It is safe to say that nobody will go wild there. There will be no woman dressed in national flags and no man appareled like the accepted picture of Uncle Sam. The mountebank with his soaring speech and the other with his soaring song will be absent, and no delegate will sit in his shirt- sleeves and take off his shoes and stockings. Whatever may come of this convention, it is consoling to reflect that it will be orderly, conservative, decent, dignified and respectable. comicbooks.c dm