Judge — August 15, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MR. PRETTYMAN’S FIRST POLITICAL SPEECH. 1. Hard at work preparing his speech. THE CENSUS IN MODOC. | THE. enterprising town of Tangle- foot Gulch, in Modoc county, California, re- ports an increase of seven hundred per cent. in population dur- ing the past year. Two years ago Tanglefoot Sulch had but one in- habitant —a one-eyed Missourian from Pike county. He married a half breed Siwash from Puyallup, and the net results are two sets of triplets.— Condensed from government cen- sus reports, 2 Rehearsal, strictly private. f ‘Time—all night. | DISCOLORED COULEUR-DE-ROSE. He kissed me ! And a couleur-de-rose sprang up ‘twixt happy me and the skies. He kissed me! And the cooing dove awoke that in my bosom lies. He kissed me! And all the world turned pink, e’en to the fern-decked groves. He kissed me! And the fragrant dews gave way—to cardamom-seeds and cloves ! MAR ST. JOMN-BRAMHALL, THE BANGED TAIL. +$8'ZEY tooked off ze horse's feazer-duster onto him.” il," said Margie, “ an’ nailed a A LITTLE DEAL IN WHEAT, trunk had a party at his house to celebrate the fourth of July. SIZED UP. Brotner Bow (who has been celebrating his golf vicfory)—"* Shoes too (hic) small, Sue? They look (hic) just ‘bout my ft." SisteR SUE (indignantly)—* They are awfully tight, sir, if that’s what you mean.” MR. O'SHEA’S SAD TWIST. MY GARDENER, Mr. Martin O'Shea, having recovered from his broken leg— broken last winter when he sat on the limb of a tree and sawed it off next to the Mr. O'Shea, with true gentleman: like hospitality, drank separately with cach guest that arrived, and so before the party had fairly begun was more than tipsy. He was put carefully to bed, so as not to disturb the fes- tivities. Awakening two hours later and hear- ing the jollity below, Mr, O'Shea got up to join his guests. It was dark in his room, and he was still not quite himself; so in putting on his trousers he got them on wrong side in front. At the head of the stairs Mr. O'Shea: stumbled and rolled to the bottom. The guests ran and picked him up. “Are yez kilt, Martin?” screamed his faith- ful wife. Mr. O'Shea felt himself all over and ob- served the position of his trousers. “No, Oi am not hurted; but Oi give mesilf adivil av a twisht.” Com PMILIP POINDEXTER, WHEN IT WAS MORE NEEDED. ++ D)ID you pass a medical gxamiamian before you went into the athletic contest ?” “No; I passed it afterward.” vhiy i ier 3. The night uf the ef- fort. Received with boister- ous applause, followed by a good old stage-fright Al} 4. Finale, EASY TO RISE FROM THE CHORUS. Naw girl (just going on the stage)—“‘Is it true that if I go into the chorus I can never rise? They say I'll never be able to get out of it.” Old stager—" Don't you believe it. I got out the first week, easy.” New girl— Oh, how did you do it?” Old stager—"\ was fired.” comicbooks.com | |