Judge — August 1, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

udge 7” plaze God! The summer girl's young man as he appears N. b.—Not an X-ray photograph. SER CUPINE is) Girercorine | A GOOD BASE-STEALER. * Wot a dandy he'd be at stealin' bases, Tommy !” Wy; kin he sprint?” jaw ; but how'd yer like ter tag him out an’ hev him spike yer?" THE NEW WOMAN. HEN the wedding no- tice appeared in the paper it was announced that the ceremony was necessarily postponed for several days owing to the non-arrival of the bride’s trousers. The ig- norant printer had misspelled the word trousseau. PAT ON THE ELE- K VATED. ++ REGORRA! did yeiver notice how much more j fraquintly th’ trains thravel an th’ other thrack than this? Faith, we've met tin or a doz- en goin’ th’ other way since we shtarted an’ divil a wan goin’ this.”” pickpocket THE WIDOW O’TROUT. Q!™ glad me Cornaylia has taken a é toomble an’ given up the oidea av NS 5 goin’ ont’ th’ stage, an’ located hersilf wid ohiee eee = a station'ry consur-rn thot Oi've some dal- in's wid, a goomin’ silk fringe ont’ picther carruds an’ behavin’ hersilf loike a respict- able young ‘ooman sh’u'd. For afther her expayrience wid any number of men wid silk-hats an’ mindid shoes, thot wanted her t’ pay for th’ pri lege av goin’ out an’ singin’ one consicu- tive noight on th’ Harlim road; an’ com- in’ home, loike Daylia McTiernay, wid thray-wakes’ washin’ an’ her silve lets in pawn, she was nayre t’ givi altygither, whin thot same Daylia (bad luck to her for an onaisy, meddlin’ pace av impidince !) got Cornaylia a chance t° jine th’ Jolly Whirl company, an’ Oi wint (9 wid her to her firsht an’ lasht rayhearsal, g There did be a shmall young man at th’ pianny that was all shpectacles an’ hair, an’ whin he wasn’t bangin’ th’ kays av th’ pianny he was bangin’ th’ lid av it 3 an’ walkin’ up an’ down th’ floore a-puhll- in’ his own hair an’ a-scoldin’ at thim gurruls worse than iver Father O'Grady fete scolds th’ cooks at early mass av a Sun- day marnin’ for wearin’ t'ree feathers in ““Lalways take things as they come,” said the brace- it up their hats instid av two, an’ not i jin’ th’ exthra Mas. Binsox—"' You horrid man! to come home in such givin’ th’ exthra 4 condition—after telling me that you were going to play nine- money t’ th’ pins and adding deceit to your other crimes ” Ges Mx. Binson—" Didn't lie, m’dear, “tall, Shaid 1 wash ‘Why don't £0i't0 bowlin’smatch. Sho I did, an’ won zhe match. Drank y don't forty.sheven bowls.” A WINNER, yiz sing?” says he t' thim, says he. “iz naydn’t think yiz'll thravel on yer: shape wid this combination! We ain't a-givin’ no livin'-picther show! Yiz certainly are the cussedist, shtupidest lot of gurruls Oi iver rayhearsed !” Boimeby me Cornaylia, through over-anxoiety, hild th’ chune a little longer than th’ rist av ‘em, an’ his whiskers says t’ her, says he, “ What did ye think ye was doin'—singin’ a solo?” Thin whin for mortification she c'u'dn’t sing at all, at all, he says, “Luk here, miss! Oi've been watchin’ ye for tin minutes an’ ye haven't sung a note, D’ye think this managemint is hoirin’ ye t’ howld chairs down?" “Twas a lucky minute for him thot there was somethin’ besoides mesilf howldin’ moy chair down, or he moight have felt th’ weight av it, for Oi felt th’ McFagin roisin’ in me, an’ Oi beckoned t’ Cornaylia an’ tuk her out av thot, lavin’ him spacheless. MADRLINK ORVIS, THOSE LUMINOUS DOOR-PLATES. S¢]JAMMA.” said Phyllis, returning from an after-supper stroll, “there's a piece of sunshine got its tail caught in Smiths front door.” HOW THEY TAKE THINGS. he nabbed him. comicbooks.com “And T always take people as I find them,” remarked the copper ax