Judge — August 1, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DROUGHT. OWN the slow current of the shrunk. en stream Untimely yellow leaves like shal- lops ride Past naked, blistered rocks that whitely gleam Unnaturally large the brook be- side. The dead brown pastures stretching far and wide Gasp in the trembling air, and ever seem In some hot mirage to approach a tide ‘That shines, then vanishes, a fevered dream. MEASLES, . sWILLIE. do you know what made little Ezra so sick?" “Yes'm; his freckles struck in.” FROM AN IMPENDING DICTIONARY. Poster—A picture in dialect. Newspaper —The walking-delegate of civilization. Crank—A person who does not see things as we do. Courtship —The process by which an ideal is changed into an idea. Artist—A member of that fraternity in which the men wear their hair long and the women wear their hair short, Marriage— A game of euchre in which either ALT. WORDEN, hearts or diamonds are trumps and in which one party 4 always fails to score. Orthodoxy—A perfectly just judgment that con- demns a woman to everlasting punishment for the sin which, in the case of a man, is entered on the recording angel's books as “ Wild oats; nolle prosse.” MYATLE REED, 4, Mr. Jonn Lavewen (in New York)_.. Mrs. Mary Lavewen (in Boston) ring about it, Guess I'l take noon train and surprise PEE", ‘That last letter had a lonesome A PHOTOGRAPIIIC COUP. Mrs. Rasrer—"' H-u-n-g-r-y! How do / know you are hungry?” FAKING Farracut—"I see dat yer doubt me, leddy ; so in defense uv me honesty I insists dat yer vindercates me wid an interior snap-shot wid dis X-ray camera.” Mrs. Rasper (Aastily)—"* That will do. Wait one moment for some pie.” FAKING FARRAGUT (fo himself)—" Ef ever I git foolish enough ter hock dis bonanzer I hopes I'll starve.” 2. MR, Joun Latewer Mxs. Mary LaTRWwED to see me,” (both half tway)—" Mercy ! if that ain't Jone Bing 3. MR. Joun Latewen MasoM any Laxey" Tl get off at the first station and go right back on the next train and meet De", him. | ~ 4. Mr. Jou Latewe (in New York) _ Mrs. Mary LateweD (in Boston) you wish to surprise me please ‘clegraph.” “Dear wifey The next time CROSSED AFFECTION. comicbooks.com