Judge, 1896-08-01 · page 5 of 16
Judge — August 1, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct satirical pieces typical of Judge's style: **"Drought"** and **"Measles"** are poems and wordplay—light verse poking fun at natural phenomena and children's ailments with sentimental/humorous takes. **"From an Impending Dictionary"** offers satirical definitions mocking contemporary society: newspapers as "walking delegates," marriage as a rigged card game, and notably, **"Orthodoxy"** critiques religious hypocrisy by condemning women for sin while men's transgressions are dismissed as "wild oats." **"Crossed Affection"** is a four-panel comic strip about married couple John and Mary Latewen—one living in New York, one in Boston. The joke: they keep trying to surprise each other, but their plans repeatedly backfire. Panel 4's punchline shows the wife preemptively requesting a telegraph warning, frustrated by his surprise attempts. **"A Photographic Coup"** features "Faking Farragut" (an obvious hobo character) using fake X-ray photography to convince a landlady ("Mrs. Rasper") he's hungry, securing pie. The satire targets both con-artist culture and emerging photography technology's questionable reliability.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DROUGHT. OWN the slow current of the shrunk. en stream Untimely yellow leaves like shal- lops ride Past naked, blistered rocks that whitely gleam Unnaturally large the brook be- side. The dead brown pastures stretching far and wide Gasp in the trembling air, and ever seem In some hot mirage to approach a tide ‘That shines, then vanishes, a fevered dream. MEASLES, . sWILLIE. do you know what made little Ezra so sick?" “Yes'm; his freckles struck in.” FROM AN IMPENDING DICTIONARY. Poster—A picture in dialect. Newspaper —The walking-delegate of civilization. Crank—A person who does not see things as we do. Courtship —The process by which an ideal is changed into an idea. Artist—A member of that fraternity in which the men wear their hair long and the women wear their hair short, Marriage— A game of euchre in which either ALT. WORDEN, hearts or diamonds are trumps and in which one party 4 always fails to score. Orthodoxy—A perfectly just judgment that con- demns a woman to everlasting punishment for the sin which, in the case of a man, is entered on the recording angel's books as “ Wild oats; nolle prosse.” MYATLE REED, 4, Mr. Jonn Lavewen (in New York)_.. Mrs. Mary Lavewen (in Boston) ring about it, Guess I'l take noon train and surprise PEE", ‘That last letter had a lonesome A PHOTOGRAPIIIC COUP. Mrs. Rasrer—"' H-u-n-g-r-y! How do / know you are hungry?” FAKING Farracut—"I see dat yer doubt me, leddy ; so in defense uv me honesty I insists dat yer vindercates me wid an interior snap-shot wid dis X-ray camera.” Mrs. Rasper (Aastily)—"* That will do. Wait one moment for some pie.” FAKING FARRAGUT (fo himself)—" Ef ever I git foolish enough ter hock dis bonanzer I hopes I'll starve.” 2. MR, Joun Latewer Mxs. Mary LaTRWwED to see me,” (both half tway)—" Mercy ! if that ain't Jone Bing 3. MR. Joun Latewen MasoM any Laxey" Tl get off at the first station and go right back on the next train and meet De", him. | ~ 4. Mr. Jou Latewe (in New York) _ Mrs. Mary LateweD (in Boston) you wish to surprise me please ‘clegraph.” “Dear wifey The next time CROSSED AFFECTION. comicbooks.com