Judge, 1896-07-25 · page 4 of 16
Judge — July 25, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains short humorous pieces mocking social conventions and human nature circa the 1880s-1890s. **"The Verdict"** satirizes the free-silver movement, depicting a speaker making pro-silver arguments in a Colorado mining town who is so unpopular the coroner's jury rules his death a "suicide"—absurdist political mockery. **"A Natural Supposition"** uses racial dialect humor (typical of the era) to joke about an African American man jailed for animal cruelty, playing on stereotypes. **"A Mutual Exchange"** wittily observes that while brides surrender their names and grooms their bachelor freedom upon marriage, fathers simply "give her away"—critiquing gendered expectations. The remaining pieces are brief satirical aphorisms and dictionary definitions mocking literary pretension, journalism, and social hypocrisy. The overall tone targets upper-class pretension and universal human folly rather than specific political targets.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
uae DECISIONS HANDED DOWN. [7 5 ignorance that delights in con- troversy. A broken pledge cannot be mended with soft-soap. The student who plays foot-ball rarely gets left—that is, all of him. Young men should remember that genius can work as well if its nose isn’t red. Most men aspire to be something better, if they could decide what it was, JM. MACKLEY. THE VERDICT. E HAD dared to make a gold speech in a Colorado town around which were A NATURAL SUPPOSITION. ** Hullo, Jube! wha’ yo’ been fo’ de las’ two months ?” ** I's been in trubble wif’ de humane sassiety.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES. many silver mines, and * Whuffo? Whuffo? Pinchin’ chickens?” VIRGINIA EARLE. when the audience fin- Some come from east, and some from west, ished with him the cor- {¥on, from the sunsed region Ulown, oner's jury brought in Have mirthful flashes all your own! You mimic others: but no girl Save you can be Virginia Earle. ENVY. +s LJOW beautifully it pumps!" said the professional interviewer, gazing ad- miringly at the mosquito, a verdict of “suicide.” A MISNOMER. [8 DAYS when foolscap white was used For writing compositions on ‘The teacher said, * Buy one cent’s worth And write and write till it is gone.” Quoth Jack, " Foolscap can't hold my thoughts ; ‘That can’t be what the master said. Who ever saw a dunce’s cap Hold any but a dunce’s head ?” ee anes cnantbe ule coon HE OUGHT TO HAVE KNOWN BETTER And said—the cunning little chap— a a ER. ** Please sell me"—was he penny wise ?— ‘A cent’s worth, sir, of thinking-cap.” A MUTUAL EXCHANGE. ILE bride gives up, with no question at all, Her name on her wedding-day. ‘The groom gives up his snug bachelor-hall, But the pater—just " gives her away.” ANNA th PATTRN. FROM JUDGE’S DICTIONARY. Autobiographer—One who strives to make a hero of himself with becoming modesty. Annotator—A false friend; a person who confuses the text and who is not a believer in ‘ \ a ae the proverb, Let bad enough alone. Sl fis) X is Memoirs —~ Reminiscences of great men written by little men to show on what familiar terms they were with the objects of their worship. Literary syndicate—An institution which employs young men to re-write the current encyclopedias. Critic—A literary pope gifted with infalli- bility; an individual who seems to eke a neg- ative enjoyment out of life by pulling down what others have built, and who seldom com- mits himself to the jeopardy of any p iBT ZABELED! performance. Also a sort of safety-valve or Would it not be advisable, instead of introducing one to another, for every one to carry a placard stating Withholding force preventing an overproduc- the name, whether married or single, wealthy, ete tion of genius. ee Coreen comicbooks.co