Judge — July 18, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

38 YE MAID AND YE SOLDIER. PRETTY continental maid Was wandering down a lane Where July's sun on either side Was ripening the grain. Her pretty hair a mob adorned ; Her kerchief close confined Whitely a gentle little breast, As modest as her mind. A swaggering British officer Came clanking down that way, And twirled anew his red mos- tache And let his bold eyes play Upon the gentle little form ‘That, spirit-like, drew nigh “ Fair rebel,” cried he, ** trib- ute pay This fourth day of July. No screams shall serve, no pet- tish words ; A kiss you shall bestow ; For every scream a kiss, before I deign to let you go. Then learn, whatever rebels teach, "Tis hopeless to be free. ‘This day of freedom you shall pay 7 Full tribute here to me. Yes, sir,” the trembling maid re- plied, Flushing with natve surprise ; “But promise me that while we kiss You'll only shut your eyes.” lighted at this frank consent, he dandy acquiesced, Expecting soon to feel the maid Keclining on his breast Over his bared and close-cropped head Her mob she deftly drew, And tied it round his eyes before He guessed what she would do. He swore and fumbled at the knot. Its treacherous loop to find, She whisked her kerchief round his arms And tied them tight behind. “Now, sir,” she said, ** I'm ready quite Your kisses to receive, Tat come and speak to father first, Before you take your leave. And if he chance to prove un- kind, Why, this the reason why, Some folks would loose and some would bind, This fourth day of Jule Tun up that valuable sea-shell. rressOR—"" Ha! here's luck. Last night's severe I believe it is of the mollusk family.” IT WAS NECESSARY, here goes Bess.” Of course she must be crazy, She represents Ophelia.” (WaEELS, SE CHECKED. ECONOMICAL. Cuotty—" The great advantage of a tandem over single wheels when one takes his girl for a spin on the boulevard is that the girl cannot stop when she pleases.” AN ERRATIC CLASSIFICATION, form has cast Goodness ' Miss Bragdon must be crazy to come in such a costume.” JUDGMENTS FROM MR. MCGARVEY. T'S b'uwain ilictions thot th’ earth rists. Love? Arrah! ‘tis but a lump av hot wind, A felly’s own goat has no unplisint fatchures. Wan touch av natchure makes some wimin min. Many th’ poor divil does wrong whin he’s doin’ roight. Learn t’ say no, but for th’ love av hivin don’t yez be fergit- tin’ how t’ say yis. It’s not th’ clothes thot makes th’ man, is it? Wow! Thry goin’ widout ‘em wanst. Its a great wur-rid. Pere Fagan broke his lig kickin’ at a dirty divil who insulted a woman, Th’ docthor towld Grogan whin he had shtomich throuble thot he hod peritonatis, an’ now Grogan won't shpake this owld frinds, DAVID H. TALMADGR. But a second later he discovered it was of tne carnivorous type. comicbooks.com