Judge — June 13, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae A PNEUMATIC\ EXPERIENCE. WHY HE WAS SCARED. HEN the druggist returned from luncheon he found his clerk in a chair in a state of collapse. “What's the matter?” he asked. The clerk was too far gone to answer. He merely turned up his ashen face, while great beads of perspiration stood out on his brow and convulsive throbs shook him all over. Son—"'Sce it 1 can't gle even “What is it?" repeated the with the old man fer the lickin’ he give me yisterday.” druggist, after he had braced him up with some brandy. “ Prescription — mistake ~~ ar gasped the clerk. iddlesticks!* exclaimed the druggist.“ You have got yourself intoa blue funk over nothing. Every young clerk does the same thing some time or other and almost scares himself into fits. Brace up and think no more about it.” spas a ramOFFICIAL INCUMBRANCES, But the clerk could do nothing — over IP j -ADY—"" Have you any incumbrances?” bur moan and poiat bysierically. at Gem tpacutn eo Coon" Ol hor, muini— bat sot a8 this bate the arsenic-botile, As the druggist ran his eve along the row of bottles it did look as if the ar- Be NO DISTINCTION, BUT A senic was a little out of line, but he thought the clerk might j 2 DIFFERENCE. have disturbed it in his fright, and he said nothing. REDDY, a half-witted inmate of the town “Oh, what shall I do—what shall I do?" repeated the asylum, had been severely reprimanded by clerk, getting up and wringing his hands. Ezekiel T—, the overseer of the poor, and was “Tthink you'd better go home and get to bed,” replied in consequence exceeding wroth with that gen- the druggist." You'll have forgotten all about it by the time tleman, the holder also of several minor offices you wake u in the administration of town affairs. Freddy “No, no! I can't go home. I can't sleep!" cried the was overheard relating to a sympathizin audi- clerk, dropping into the chair agai ence the tale of his grievance, which he conclud- “Look here!" said the druggist, holding him up; “you ed with the following logical deduction, not un- make me tired, There's nothing to be scared about. I'll bet worthy an unimpaired intellect: “I told ‘Zekel, 1 . " Tue OLD —" ! it's ‘5 ‘ ten dollars to one you have made no mistake. Gold tendarcen etc eke tive: did Wat he was a town pauper same as me, only “But I know I have,” persisted the clerk. all the time.” I didn’t git no pay fer it.” HIS FATHER’S SECOND. se THAT lady your wife?” No; mother.” “How old were you when she was born?” RECIPROCAL SLIGHT. Fosdick—" | never hear you talk about your ancestors.” Keedjck—“ Well, they never talked about me that I know of.” s “Well, even if you nave, y ‘what of it?” returned the drag- \Y \ 8 AON ATMOS ne iat, gist. They won't do anything to you—they never do. Perhaps they'll censure the establish- ment, but that will be forgotten in aday or so. Brace up; you have nothing to be scared about.” “But I have!" shrieked the clerk. “That was my own pre- 4} scription, and I've swallowed it.” J.J. O'COMNRLL, i} a ** Lando’ mighty! T’'ve read of’em usin’ compressed air THE MODERN Dikeenetans guns. but never hed MA-CENAS., no notion a feller could compress it Giles—"Thehotel-proprietor 05 Ske the ee seems a superior kind of man.” . Merrilt—" Indeed he is. He devotes his life to the advancement HER EQUANIMITY DISTURBED. Tue sissts—* Hov all th’ hex 2 i th’ beat! Honl Seen 2M ov all th’ hexas contrairy men ‘e’s th’ beat! Honly ; . : mrp larst week, wien ‘e happeared to be failin’ ag'in a bit. T goes an’ gits ‘is life hinsured. Giles—* You don’t say so! How does he do it? Now look hat ‘im! "E's commenced to pick hup ” Merritt —" Employs only college men as waiters.”