Judge — June 13, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN EYE TO BUSINESS. SOLLY Isaacs— * Papa, T vent into a demperance meeding ub street, und a man dere vanted me to dake der bledg Isaacs (absent-mindedly)—" How much did he vant on id?” WARNING TO PEDESTRIANS. + OW did Charley get out of that scrape caused by his knocking the old woman down with his wheel?” “Easily. He proved that the woman, who was walking on the sidewalk, had neither a bell nor a lantern,” INJURED INNOCENCE. A COLLATERAL OBLIGATION. Master—"You're turning that screw the wrong way, Pat. I thought I showed ‘an T have your daughter?” 8 you how to do it yesterday.” you lend me five dollars Servant— Shure, sorr, this is another sherew.” HIS RULING PASSION. “*GPEAKING of puns.” said the inveterate story-teller, “I heard one the other day which I think is worth recording. A Mexican cow- boy, who was a pest to his friends on account of his incessant: punning was to be hung for some crime which he had committed. During the suspending period, and before life was extinct, the rope broke, and as he dropped to the ground he was heard to mutter, ‘ Hang that rope!" THE LYING DENTIST. Henrique—*\ velieve Dr. Quicklime is the champion liar of Dewitt- ville, ‘The stories he tells are something astonishing.” Pennbroke—" You evidently have not known Dr. Q. for any great length of time.” Henrique—" No, not very long. But he is a veritable conversational dentist.” Pennbroke— Conversational dentist? How is that ?” Henrique— hv, he is a regular professional truth-puller.” A SOLEMN TRUTH. Parson Goope (Sunday a, an.)—* Here is food, poor man! It may per- chance save you from working on Sunday. (Earnestly.) I hope you sould not work on the sabbath ?” Weaky WALLY (more earnestly) —" Sit, Vd beg first !" A FORCELESS THREAT. ++] F YOU don't pay my bill” said Mr. Chawkley the milkman to Mr. Glanders, “ [Il stop supplying you with milk.” * STAGE-STRUCK ” “ {dont care,” replied Glanders. “There are udders.” comicbooks.com