Judge — June 13, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suage ing a taxidermist. For, after taking a few les- sons in the gentle art of stuffing, he will ban- ish all joy from the home. Where is the pleasure in seeing dead furry things and dead feathery things cling- ing for dear life, or rather death, to every available piece of fur- niture in the house, or depending sadly from 4 the gas-fixtures? To me there is no joy in the performances. of these upholstered beasts. I would rather vote than see my pet dog or the family cat padded to unnatural bumpiness and staring into the future with a pair of store-made eyes, or making the present hideous with a home-made grin. Copyright by B. J. Fath. JUDG! FAVORITE: EDNA WALLACE HOPPER IN‘ CAPITAN.” It makes me weep Twinkle, twinkle, litte star, when I think of the eeBurot competitions small red squirrel A RESEMBLANCE, “That dog reminds me of a lady on a street-car.” Bi on anos at on our book-case How so?" Diamond e There's a tearful gleam “Took my seat without saying a word," THE PERVERSITY OF LIFE. Mr. Hunker—*1 thought you were going to quit calling on Miss Kittish. Mr, Spatts—" That was before | tried to stop.” THE GIRL IN THE COUNTRY. W UILLE it’s hard to part from one’s sweetheart, ‘The lover has no fear ; If my brother would confine his defunct ornamentations to our own home 1 could have a rest from them by visiting my friends, our re- lations or the neighbors, but he won't. My uncle shot a hawk last month ; to-day that hawk does hing but fly at you from its bracket in his library, and it’s the wickedest-looking bird I ever saw ; it scares me. Last week old Mrs, Burns's cat gave up its breath on an ash-heap in our alley, and yesterday while calling upon Mrs. Burns she almost wept with delight as she showed me that cat, stuffed, which my brother found in his search for speci mens and returned to her. Again, some time since, the favorite hen of a neighbor took that merited vacation which comes to all good hens in time; my brother upholstered that hen so naturally that the neighbor is mad because it can’t go on laying eggs. A society for the pre- vention of stuffing defenseless animals wouldn't be amiss in our neighborhood, and I'll organize one if my brother doesn’t get the stamp fever pretty quick. For she cannot spoon with the man in the moon, And he is the only one there. TAXIDERMY THE GENTLE ART OF GIVING HORRORS. F YOUR brother or your husband or your fae ther ever shows symptoms of the stuffing fever, either have him arrested at once or chloroform him; do anything, in fact, to prevent him becom- RUZADETH BAKTON PITMAN, 1. AN ARTISTIC BUTT o“ UNCLE Roorat (voeiferously) —"* Hay, thar, Abner! hurry up with yer skewp-net. Yander's th’ whoppinest big butterfly I ever laid eyes onter.” in its glass eyes, and the poor thing's features are distorted by a large hickory nut which is held in its mouth by four tired-looking front teeth. One's face aches out of sym- pathy. If animals must be stuffed, why not stuff them in reposeful atti- tudes? Why condemn them to a life on one leg and a face full of something: or-other ? It grieves me to say that I have a brother who stuffs. He will out- grow it, I know, but at present life isn’t so attractive as it once was. | am hoping, -however, that he will soon go into the upholstering-fur- niture business, which seems a nat- LATER ON, drops past the fifth story) — * Mov a drink, Casey! Shtop an’ rest a whoile : sTIC — Casey" Oi can't shtop now, Murphy, but fal transition from the gentle art 2. AN ARTISTIC BUTTERFLY. OF'll be in comin’ back.” of stuffing. Uncte Roorat—" Wa-al, I'll be derned !* Mukeuy (as comicbooks.com