Judge, 1896-05-23 · page 4 of 18
Judge — May 23, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains several unrelated humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical format: **"The Difference"** contrasts how men and women react to housecleaning—men emerge exhausted and defeated, while women, despite physical burden, are mysteriously revitalized by the activity, particularly by carpet-beating dust. The satire mocks both genders' stereotypical responses to domestic labor. **"Deals in Futures"** shows a mother catching her son stealing preserves. The joke: he prayed to become a saint, but specified it shouldn't happen until after he's dead—satirizing hypocritical religious practice and childhood logic. **"Objectionable Shields"** depicts a boxer (Mr. Jackson) complaining his opponent uses shields in a boxing match, demanding "razors" instead—likely mocking overly aggressive fighting rhetoric or safety concerns in boxing. **"Smashing the Trust"** features working-class Irish characters discussing the sugar trust (monopoly). Mrs. Hogan suggests buying sugar on credit until the trust "runs out"—absurdist humor about economic naïveté during the Progressive Era's anti-trust campaigns. The page also includes poetry, theatrical advertisements, and lighter romantic humor throughout.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Side THE DIFFER- ENCE, MAN usually goes into house- cleaning cheerfully enough, but he comes out with his face seamed and wrinkled as if by agehis soul covered with scars, his am- bition hanging in shreds, and his limbs palsied. A woman is different. She bears a smile upon her pale and careworn features. Her back is bowed with the weight of the burdens already upon it. She ties a handkerchief about her hair and speaks languidly. Sudden- ly she sniffs the air, The dust from a carpet is to her nos- trils as the smoke Photo, by Sarony. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. EFFIE SHANNON. Sweet is the bloomy May, ‘And so are you, doing? Didn' smiling glance, is of France. CURIOUS, Closefist —" When I started out . In life | worked for my board.” Van Pelt —“ Whom did you work 2” ORIGINAL ELOQUENCE. YOUTH told its tale to me And [told it to her. “The same old tale, you know,” As many will aver. Kut young and old agree A story 's never old When for it can be found Some new way to be told. So when I took her hand And said, * I've loved but you,” It really seemed to me That every word was new. Hemment, And she thought just the same, For ere I farther went She smiling whispered, " Dear, You are so eloquent !" QUINTON COKE NOTTINGHAM SHE COULDN'T EXPLAIN, Mary; you have been seen drinking my husband’s wine. Mistress —"* Y Can you explain how this is? Maxy—" Shure, mum, Oi can’t; Oi shtopped up the keyhole !” OBJECTIONABLE SHIELDS. Mx. JACKSON (at the teord Tivo) —"* Hol’ on dar! Hol’ on dar! inst an opponint dat doan’ gib me no chance toe git a vital squint on his pusson?” DEALS IN FUTURE! der change dese weppins toe razzers or I doan’ fite. Motuer (catching her son at the preserves)—" Oh, Johnnie, what are you you pray last night to be made a saint?” Jounsiz—" Yes'm ; but I didn’t ask ‘em to do it till after I'm dead.” of powder is to the war-horse. Her back straightens, a tinge of color shows in her cheeks, she snorts, she cavorts, her lips quiver and fix them- selves firmly over her teeth, she bounds forward, and—heaven help us!—she gains fresh strength and spirits at every bound, and when it’s all over she’s as fresh and chipper as a grasshopper. CAMPING OUT. 0 ROAM the bosky woods at will, To fish beside the brook, Will fill your soul with joy until It comes your turn to cook. SMASHING THE TRUST. Mr. Hogan—" | see by th’ pa- pers they do be hovin’ a sugar thrust now.” Mrs. Hogan — Faith, if thot’s so go down t’ Casey's an’ git siven pounds an’ hov it charged until th’ thrust runs out.” “bl, S'pose I'se gwine toe put mahsailf comicbooks.com