Judge — May 2, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EASILY ANSWERED, Mrs. Stroncminp —"*Do you think that greenbacks should be retired, Charles?" CHOLLY StroNcsinn (Yale tack/e)—'*Oh, my! you oughter see me tackle one of ‘em. Ding-ding! Ambulance !” TO THE MAY- QUEEN. OM WHAT is the use Of your raising the deuce O’er the promises spring may display? You will find to your cost That a single Jack Frost Will oft beat a queen of the May. FAILED TO RECOGNIZE HIM. Barber —""You say you have been here before? I don't seem to remember your face." Victim —* Probably not. healed up now.” It is all THE POINT OF VIEW. Ted—" What's the name of that sub- urb Tom moved to?” Ned—" The people who live there say it is Paradise park, while everybody else calls it the jumping-off place.” 2 THE FAKE THAT DIDN'T WORK. Ban Mai hussle round up to yerself all chawed up. Now, den, yer dough-face kiyute! jist fix up drinks fer two gents an’ chalk ‘em in’ look mighty smart ef yer don’t wanter be 1. THE BaD MAN —' Rooney's from N’ York. him fer free drinks.” DO THEY? + eC AY, mamma!” exclaimed little Freddy, “ when the Tritons blow their horns do the fishes think it’s Friday?” ROMANCE AND REALITY. I" ALWAYS is the good boy Who falls into the pool, ‘And not the little bad boy Who runs away from school. TOOK HIM AT HIS WORD. Revévalist—"Do you know, my friend, that salvation is free?” Sinner —" Wel, if it is TM take back that quarter I put on the plate just now.” FAKE THAT DIDN'T WORK. “*Dey's got a new dude bar-tender down at Let's go an’ work de ol’ bluff fake on A RURAL, Uncie Crrrrers (on a visit to friends in New York)—"" It's a good thing I’m used ter crawlin’ up ah’ daown th’ old hay-maow ladder ter hum, fer these pesky New York back stairways air dinged resky.”” WILLING TO PROVE IT. S¢MY HEART is broken,” said the desperate young man in the first agony of his rejection, Then he noticed the look of incredulity on the fair one’s face and added, “If you don't believe it I will prove it to you. I will have a cathodic photograph taken.” GETTING A LINE. Janitor—""1 assure you, ma‘am, that the people living around here are very genteel and respectable.” Prospective tenant—There is only one way to make sure of that. I'll call again next wash-day and take a look from the roof.” 3. THE FAKE THAT DIDN'T WORK, ‘THE NEW BAR-TENDER—" Sorry I can't obiige two real gents, but de boss told me ter give nothin’ away but lead.”