Judge, 1896-04-04 · page 4 of 16
Judge — April 4, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains several satirical cartoons and humorous sketches typical of Judge's late 19th-century style. **"A Reasonable Doubt"** mocks upper-class New York society—a socialite invites her uncle from Tombstone (the rough frontier town) to visit, but he's intimidated by the hired bouncers at her hall, suggesting her social circle is as violent and dangerous as the Old West. **"The Old Guard Dies, But Never Resigns"** satirizes Tammany Hall (New York's notoriously corrupt Democratic political machine). A condemned criminal refuses to resign from anything—the joke being that Tammany men were so entrenched in power they'd never voluntarily leave office, even facing execution. **"Newspaper Day at Podunk"** portrays rural Americans as unsophisticated, mocking both frontier folk and patent-medicine advertising schemes that exploit readers' gullibility. The remaining items are lighter fare: poetry, social observations about romance and economics. The page reflects Judge's typical blend of political commentary, class satire, and sentimental verse aimed at educated urban readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Photo. by Falk. E'S FAVORITES. JUDG MESSIR CLAYTON IN “A BLACK SHEEP." Where every one is clever ‘As in the " Black Sheep It must needs cost endeavor To catch on and keep hold. You are, amidst that lively stock The friskiest lambkin of the flock. SOME OF T fold, “The righteous shall be glad.” + SGOME of these days.” Ah me! how far Beyond our long, long thoughts they are! How nebulous the hopes that play In that dim-vistaed Arcady ! ‘There babyhood swings to the song ‘That we have listened for so long ; ‘There waits the laugh that fled when first Our iridescent bubbles burst ; There beauty laves in crystal streams ‘That we catch glimpses of in dreams, And love has learned ten thousand ways ‘Yo make us glad ** some of these days."* ‘Some of these days” and all the sky Grows bright with fulfilled prophecy, The sunset gilds through rift and crack The crimson fringe of Aying wrack, And rumpled by the rainy spray The unblown bud of yesterday THE OLD Lawyer (to convicted felon) —"* Well, Thomas the supreme court has refused to grant a stay of proceedings and we can hope for no clemency from the executive Wot t’ ‘ell !" ‘THOMAS —" Who yer tellin’ ter resign, yer thin-skinned goo-g00 ? A REASONABLE DOUBT. Miss Urropate (of New York, to her uncle from Tombstone)—* Come, un- cle, don’t’ be bashful— make yourself at home, Uncte Ike (nervously) —"' I'll try to, Clara, but I don’t exac'ly like th’ looks uv th’ two bouncers you've got in th’ hall, an’ T don’t think I'm quite up to th’ style uv scrappin’ they're hired fer ter stop.’ FALSE ALARM. Brown—\ hear you had some money left you.” Jones —"* Yes, it left me long ago.” HESE DAYS. Ps uxt Tilts up and down and dips and glows And blushes to a full-blown rose That with its fresh, rain-washed perfume Shall charmn us in our days of gloom With memories of some strain that plays O’er vanished harps,"* some of these days.” ** Some of these days” and we shall see Our lives are as they ought to be We shall be made to understand Why joy and grief go hand in hand, And faith gives promise we shall know ‘Those things are right that grieve us so. For under sorrow’s black disguise There waits for us some glad surprise, With all good things we here have missed, When through the clouds of amethyst Upon our dying eyes the glaze Of death is set, “* some of these days.” ROWIN 8. HOPKINS NEWSPAPER DAY AT PODUNK. Uncie Anner (from his almanac) —**1 allow them Chinese critters hain’t sech senseless fools ez folks try ter make aout ; they do their readin’ back'ar AUNT ‘MANDY: What's th’ sense er readin’ thet way ?” UNCLE ABNER (irritably) — “Ter sarcumvent them patent- meddycin’ advertisers. Nothin’ on airth makes me so cussid mad ez gittin’ interested in a feller's hevin’ @ narrer excape frum death, an’ findin’ aout thet Doctor Screechem’s pills saved! him !™ MAPRIL, SOMETIMES, sweetheart, you are an April day, With a flash of tears and a pas- sion flame ; ‘Then again you are sweet as the blossoms of May, So I think that Mapril should be your name. OFTEN THE CASE. Day—" A man’s ability to save money depends largely on his marrying a woman who is an economist in dress.” Weeks —" That's true; the more economy the more cost.” GUARD DIES, BUT NEVER RESIGNS. ON'T swallow any praise that you know is undeserved It has medicine in it. You must resign yourself.” Did yer ever know uy a Tammany man resigning ? comicbooks.com