Judge — March 28, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S AQUA-CYCLE. Do not be surprised, when on a visit to the seashore this summer, to find this to be the correct thing. GOOD FOR EVIL. [F YOU propose, oh, leap-year lassie fair, ‘Tis safe on man’s behalf to promise you He'll not assume a manner light as air, As you so often do, And when your eyes in languishment seek his, Regging a glance, if not a word that’s kind, He will not say, ‘*Tee-hee! Your neck-tie is ‘Way up behind.” PHILANDRR JOHNSON. IT IS THE CAT. N COLD nights the eat is compelled to remain within doors and, according to Bridget’s report, eats the butter, uses your wile’s overshoes, breaks the best vase in the parlor, devours the cold joint, empties the beer-bottles and leaves a strong odor of to- bacco in the kitchen, besides necessitating an amazing consumption of tea and coal. A FALLING-OFF, I TRIED the bicycle, whose glories resound, But I soon gave it up, for the fact is ‘That, after a week of exertion, | found I was falling off in my practice. Y¢ SUBURBANITE OF THE FULL DIRECTIONS, OLD LaDy—" Little boy, can you direct me to Dacey's?” Litre nov—‘*Ves'm ; you walk right up this street till you come to a big drug-store.” OLD Lapy—“ Well?” LrrtLe Boy—"* Well. then you go inside and ask some of the clerks and they'll tell you.” PAST AND THE PRESENT. WHOA! ICYCLES—six, eight, twelve, seventeen, With not a single horse between, And riders ranging all the way From babes to men and women gray— All out of sight ere fully seen. And does this hurrying pageant mean That, be we fat or be we lean, We're all to be propelled some day By cycles? Ob, may the kind fates intervene ! Too fast we move e’en now, I ween. The world to haste will fall a prey. We need less** Europe,” more **Cathay"— Cathay, where progress still has been By cycles. MENRIETTA R, ELIOT. THE DIVIDING LINE, +S D)AVIE, what is a monkey 2” “A monkey is a man what hasn't sense enough t’ get shaved.”