Judge — March 28, 1896 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN ECHO OF THE WHEEL, ++ PTELLO! is that you?” said the corset to the health: The health-waist looked surprised, “Dear me!” it said, “I hadn't the slightest idea you were still on the earth, Do tell me, is any woman still wearing you on the bicycle?” The corset laughed de- risively. “One would think you were left over from the flood,”” it said. “In spite of you thousands of women still have no more sense than to wear me on the wheel, I give them a red face, palpita- tion of the heart, and short Owing to a difference in stature Cholly has a . tandem built to his order which prevents his total breath, and still they dote on m eclipse by his fair but tall companion. re. The health- waist was palpably shocked. “I do not see how you can actually gloat over these things,” it said. “For my part I have come to help make the race stronger and to give to the world in future a more healthy physical type. Why do you not remove your deteriorating influence from the march of progress ?”” ‘The corset seemed greatly amused. “ My dear,” it said with a patronizing air, “you are younger than I and do not know women so well. The whole trouble with you is that you do not cater to woman's vanity, In other words, you cannot travel on your shape. You forget that Ho- mer’s Juno wore a many-layered girdle, and perhaps you do not re- call the fascia and strophinum of the Roman women. Catherine de Medici and the virgin queen wore corsets which were almost solid metal, Iam an innocent toy com- pared to my ancestors.” “But many men approve of me too,’ said the health- waist, “ard "— The corset laughed immoder- ately. “You foolish thing,” it said. “Do you not know that most wo- men still wear me that they may assume those curves so dear to the did, an’ as he hed a gover'ment FEW DIE-- NONE yer ever wish yer wuz dead, Bow'ry?” Bowery or ‘Naw; an’ I never knew but one feller dat he knew he wuz comparatively saf STUMPED, Mrs. pr Loss pe Reginald, behin’ mah chai Recinato pe Loss p I's jes’ got back {um Sunday-school mammy. Love pe Prysi IGNIFICANCI be Prysrer WiTrwasH—“‘Am dat yo’, Wrrrwasi—"* Yais, Mrs. Witewast—"‘An’ whad war de taixt, Reggy?" RecinaLp—""' Keep yo'saif pure an’ unspotted f'um de world,’ mammy.” Ms. Wirewast—""An’ whad do dat signerfy, Reginald?” Reotnatp—"" It all yo'r bes’ cloes fust.” RESIGN. Unctx WaYRACK (amazed)—"* I'll allow they're more manly than cigareets, but what n. erfy dat ef yo're gwine toe fish fo" eels taik off eye of man? Man invented corsets and wore them first; but, having dis- carded them, woman in her anxiety to be admired took them, and hav- ing once "— “But they have injured her form, and only a sensible garment like myself can restore it,” said the health-waist. Precisely," said the corset. “I agree with you perfectly. I have no quarrel with you, although you're y my style; but I was merely pointing out to you the fact that I myself am not to blame for the havoc I have wrought upon the female form divine, but lovely wo- man herself is.” “ My mistress wants you,” said the maid. “ Why do you associate with such a plebeian garment 2” The corset winked gayly at the health- waist as the maid carried it off, “ My mistress will have a ner- vous headache after her ride,”’it said; “and she will say that cycling is fit only for common people.” That night the bicycle said it wished congress would raise the tariff on whalebone. MARY €. FRANCHR, AN OPPORTUNITY. Mr. Isaacstein—" Repecca, Repecea! pinch dot baby till he gries alreaty. Here comes der healt’-of- fizer, und maype ve git a brescrip- tion for nottings.”” HER SUGGESTION. TO TELL his love he vainly tried; ‘The hour was growing late. “I can’t express myself !" he cried ; And now he curses fate Because the cruel girl replied, “ Then why not go vy freight ?* MCLANDBURGH WILSON,