Judge — March 14, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1. THEN AND NOW. udge WHERE THE BLAME LAY. SOYVHY, you are actually growing cold,” said Dr. Paresis to his patient. “Don't blame me,” replied the patient. “It was you who took my temperature.” A CAREFUL MAN. Lontse—"How do you come on with that leap- year proposal ?” Emma—"\ don't know yet. Harry is still examining my let- 2. THEN AND NOW. UNcte SILas This here cold spell hain't much to my likin’, but jes’ take me in the summer, when she’s good an’ hot, an’ watch me cradle oats.” UNCLE SILAS GLUKPH—"* B’gosh! I ain't much in hot — ters of recommendation.” weather, but when she -gits cold and freezes up—gee whiz! how 1 kin cut ice!" GUILTY CONSCIENCE? LITTLE ALICE is of a restiess, uneasy disposition, often in mischief, which calls for her moth- er's reproof. Alice's parents attend the Episcopal church, and a few Sundays since she was taken with them to the service. That night, after being tucked into bed, she said,“ Mamma, I know something they said in church to-day.” The mother, wondering what the little tot had in her mind, said, “What was jit, dear?" Alice answered, “They kept saying, ‘Incline our hearts to keep still." A PROBABILITY. +S MPAGUIRE, you are a mournful sight, Indeed I tell you true!” “Well, if you'd been more'n full last night Why, you'd look mournful too.” SOUNDED LIKE IT. Benny Bloobumper — Papa, can we eat time?” SWEETNESS LONG DRAWN OUT. ooMR: TROTLEY talked to me for three hours last night. "sa perfectly lovely conversa- “Only that he loved me.” IF. [F THE moon shone over the waters And you were one of Eve's daugh- ters, If a man were loyal and true = And, riding along on a tandem, wt is He kissed you a little at random, Pray what in the world could you do? MAIIA PLAYTRE SRADUKY, A CANINE PARLOR. Afiss Mayde—"\ wish to stop at your hotel, but you must pr an apartment for my skye terrier. Hotel-clerk (politely) —* That can be managed, miss. We have an exclusive set of apartments for ladies’ dogs. (Aside, t THAT IDIOTIC LOOK ACCOUNTED FOR. Fee Aaa sist paranes > Major Suurant (of Kentucky)—"' It is said that a camel has seven stom- PE ale a ack nS Miss Mayde—* What is the questior CoLoneL Bourson—** What in the world does the brute do with so many number of the apartment you have Benny Bloobumper—" Bur the stomachs, majah? given Fido?” ‘ ; Major SHUTAM—" Kerrys watah in them, sub.” ; brakeman called out * Twenty min- Coroner. Bournon—" Watah? Well. that accounts foh the blame-fool Hotel-clerk (rather staggered) utes for dinner.’ ” expression, suh, T hev always noticed on a camel's face.” —* Er—Parlor K, 9. ma‘am,” B Mr, Bloobumper—" Certainly. not, Benny. That is a very silly . SPIEGLEMAYER'S AUTOMATIC BLOCK-SYSTEM. ons! ME PROPRIETOR (00 himself )— **Vat's der use gotten vheels in mine headt und not pood dem in oxegushun? I didn'd vas vork in dot biock-sysdem svitch- se cighd years fur noddings, ain’d it?” e — comicbooks.com