Judge — February 22, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MISHAP ON A RAINY DAY IN LITTLE IALy. A LENTEN WISH ] WOULD that all the year were Lent, For then Adele might be As contrite and as penitent For all her sauce to me ‘Through twelve long, blissful months in liew Of forty fleeting days, Sage A PRACTICAL ANSWER. SS THIS is leap year,” remarked the maiden timidly, “and I am dis- posed to avail myself of my sex’s privi- lege. Mr. Tillinghast, I love you. Will you be mine?" * But can you support a husband?” asked Mr. Tillinghast anxiously. EMBARRASSING SITUATION. First usher (who was a rejected suit or of the bride)—"I can never keep step going up the aisle Second usher—" Go up with me; I'll fix you."—As wedding-march strikes up— “Now! Left—left—left—left "— First usher —" For heaven's sake, shut up! I know I'm left, but don't tell the whole church about it.” SUPERSTITIOUSLY SYMPATHETIC, Mr, Hocknemt (roho is paying for the game)—"* 1 forfeits de game, mein sap.” . You gan beat me mit dis shot.” son; bud I hafn't de heart to And, tiring soon of rack and rue, Resolve to mend her ways. I would that all the year were Lent, For maybe ere its close preak ub dose pins de vay dey shtandt. A POLISHED COURTIER. HE. up-to-date girl entered a crowded street-car and an elderly colored gentleman arose and offered her his seat. Adele would find her substance spent In easing others’ woes, : And then, from routs a fugitive, Reduced to poverty, She Give up herself—to me! VERY ‘nt, with nothing else to give, She hesitated for a moment, saying, “But, sir, 1 do not wish to de- prive you.” Doffing his hat with a grandiloquent sweep, the colored Chesterfield PUZZLING. [JT CLARE had been told several times the difference between | + the verbs is and are. said, “I want an orange. One day she stopped at an Italian's stand and How much are they?” “Them oranges is forty cents a dozen,” he replied. “You shouldn't say ‘them oranges #5, should say ‘them oranges are.’ RESENTING she corrected gravely; you Please, I'll have one.” AN INDIGNITY. Boston mother—* Won't you try to amuse baby, Elizabeth, while I untangle his curls?” Aunt Eli abeth (beginning to finger the little toes) “ This little pig went to market, this little pig stayed at home Boston babe (indignantly drawing away his feet)—" Elizabeth. You are mistaken, IN AND OUT. xcuse me, but the office-boy said the editor was in.” I'm out fifty dollars.” Eprrox—* Well, he lied, o, it didn’t, Aunt It must have been some other pig.’ UNSATISFIED. THE prairie asked for a sta, As it rippled out to the west. ‘The sky bent down from afar, As the prairie asked for a star, ‘Through the gates of the sunset ajar Swept the flowers its touches caressed ; Vet it asked for a faraway star + As it rippled on into the west, EMMA PLAYTHN SRA BOW-LEGGED. Maisie —Sis, there's a young gentleman down in the parlor wants to see you.” Sister—* Who is it, dearie?” Maisie—* Well, | don’t know his name; but he’s that one that looks so much like a wish-bone.”” replied, “No depravity,’ miss; no deprav- ity. It am a pleasure toe be depraved by sich as yo’, miss, I assuah yo’.” She sat down, reassured. THE INEVITABLE, Ce NEW WOMEN "is what they call them now, But there's not much in a name; However masculine they may grow They'll be old maids just the same, DISAPPOINTING. Mrs. Gummey (with deep curiosi- ty)—"Oh, Mrs. Glanders! do tell me about Mrs. Tenspot's scandal, won't you?" Mrs, Glanders—* My dear, it is not nearly so dreadful as you hope.””