Judge — February 1, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNEQUAL RIGHTS. HEN a man receives a notice to come and “settle” he either does it or goes bang, and there is an end of it. When a woman re- ceives a similar notice, and cannot doit, she goes and says she is very, very, very sorry, and there is an end of it too, KNOWING, Alberta —“ He must be in earnest, and those places where his letter sticks together must be tears.” Alethea — " They're not tears, but they prove positively that he loves me—they are where he dipped his pen in the mucilage.” Copyright by BJ. Fath. GREEN! JUDGE'S FAVORITES. CORA URQUHART POTTER. You crave no praise they will not give, you say, Mistress —* Did the man send the lobster?” soree oe prvi ther plat aio een, Bride -—"He did, AN ACCIDENT AT THE SHAKESPEAREAN RECITAL An! “tis the actress we applaud to-day— * an’ Oi sint it back Miss BELLE SNOWE (as Juliet, before the balcony gave way)— Soch'beauty ol isc all hearismight moves eae ats “*Roxo-o-meo—R-r-r-r-omeo! ” Whuffo’ am yo", Romeo?” ‘Wedded to art, what wonders salt « provel T was not roipe. ‘Mk. JOHNSON (az Komeo, with a heroic gaip)—" Yar, honey !" SHE WOULD OPEN IT. AT LONELYWOOD. | ‘THE angel, bearing a female shade, paused at heaven's gate and Mrs. Commuter —""1 don't think much of those new neighbors of knocked. ours, Ferdinand.” “No need of disturbing the inmates,” aid the shade, fumbling with Mr Commuter—“Well, my dear, it isn’t necessary for you to be on her Psyche twist ; “just wait till I get a hai ad in. more than borrowing terms with them unless you care to.” FATE OF A POEM. ee WHY didn’t Fleecy recite his original poem at the banquet, as he had intended ?” “The zompany gave him unanimous leave to print it.” IN THE HALL-WAY, oe NOTICE—This um- brella belongs to Jobn L. Sullivan, who will return in ten minutes.” When the owner of | the umbrella returned, in place of his “bluff” he found the following : UNDER HYPNOTIC CONTROL, DPESSOR Pitakes — ‘* Now, ladies and gentlemen, the subject is under my full control. {ask him to reach for this “ P. S.—This umbrel- bottle of brandy and drink it, but he cannot, because I will Wrxpitam Whyskers— Can't move, eh! I'll jest take la was taken by the cham- otherwise. With your kind permission I will leave the stage a nip uv de brandy.” pion pedestrian of the for one minute. (70 subject.) You are unable to move.” Sek & (Retires) United States. Will re- turn in ten years. rs A QUERY. 66] T IS generally con- ceded, I believe, that life is a span.” "Yes, I believe so.” “It is also conceded that death is a riderless “Well, what becomes. of the other horse ?” admit that the brave deserve the fair, but we must say that in a great many instances the faie gq N¥NDwAM Witvsnees —" You're a nice feller, er palm ; a le er wotter fer brandy on ai a —. P donot deserve the brave, ‘uets' ly on an unfortunit feller How does yer like ter be under my control 7 comicbooks.com