Judge, 1896-01-11 · page 10 of 16
Judge — January 11, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"The Time Was Long to Him"** — A brief domestic joke about a boy's three-hour absence feeling endless to him, playing on childhood's subjective time perception. **"A Pertinent Deduction"** — A farmer's comic logic: seeing large tracks and damaged hay, he deduces an elephant visited overnight. The satire mocks rural folk wisdom and exaggerated conclusions from limited evidence. **"Coquetterie Japonaise"** — A romantic narrative poem mocking Western male fascination with Japanese women. The repeated phrase "Ohyo! (good-day)" becomes comedic through exhausted repetition. The piece gently satirizes both the exoticized perception of Japanese women and the narrator's sentimental gullibility. The side conversation with "Mr. Henry Clay" adds commentary on attractiveness being superficial. **"Anything She Called For"** — A brief Irish-accented servant joke: the mistress wants a different song but the cook cannot specify which one, creating absurdist humor from miscommunication. The bottom illustrations show a man wrapped repeatedly in wire, literalizing the phrase "roll of wire."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE TIME WAS LONG TO HIM. . sHULLor said Davie, who had been taking a run- away trip and had just been returned to his worried parents after three hours of patient search, “you've got the same old dog yet, haven't you?” A PERTINENT DEDUCTION. EAxty ETHERYNGTON (sho has made a great hay appropriation in view of inclement weather) —"'T'll bet dat wen dat farmer sees dese tracks an’ sizes up his hay-loft he'll tink dere wuz an elerfunt stopt wid him over night.” COQUETTERIE JAPONAISE. H, HOW bird-like her poise on her wooden- On her tall wooden geta to note my retreat. shod toes, As T glanced o'er my shoulder "* Ohyo !" she said. ‘As with rice-paper kerchief she flecked at her (As Ohyo's good-day I just nodded my head.) nose, And hunched up her obi, got ready to smile, When I called I presented the knapsacky sash—> And did various things this poor heart to beguile! One that had of the rainbow a generous dash. As I smiled my responses, ** Ohyo !" she said. And I squandered my yens on a festive ‘ricksha, Mr. Henry CLav—"'T tell yo’, Miss Lucy, yo" are (As Ohyo 's good-day I just nodded my head.) he made such a picture as | never saw de han'somest gal I haseber meet Va-as‘ndeed, vo" are a ing by ‘tween its wheels, and “Ohyo!” teg'lar pictur!” An’ all dis yer little pictur needs is one On the morrow she built her dank tresses on high— abe sald nice—nice— "Twas a wonderful cone, for its secret you'd die. (As Ohyo ‘s good-day I just nodded my head.) As she haloed herself thus, my guide, Massaleen, Kindly told me the cone said, eighteen,"* Matrimonial custom in festive Japan. As I pondered such frankness Ohyo!" she said. Though my yens are all squandered I'll still have nearing Well, I've sent her my heart on the costliest fan— (As Ohyo ‘s good-day I just nodded my head.) my bride, ‘And can man e’er be poor with a gem by his side? Then she waved her long sleeve, sighing thus, * . . . . | appy man!" I've just called for my yes—*' Sayonara!” she A coquettish observance in festive Japan said, And she bent her lithe body and came to the street (Sayonara 's good-bye, sd I pounded my head.) MAR ST. JONN-HEAMMALL. * The Japanese coiffure frequently tells the age of the eastern maiden with an accuracy the western one would consider ray-halr-producing. t Japanese proposals are frequently written on fans, and then forwarded by especial messengers to the " de- sired ones.” ANYTHING SHE CALLED FOR. Mr. Dountown (jeritably) —" Bridget, 1 must insist that you cease singing that song My wife has a nervous headache and it annoys her. Bridget (the cook)—" Oi will stop, sorr, Oi didn’t know thot the mishtress disloiked thot song. Pfwat song do she want me to sing ?” Pat —"* Oi tell ye it’s no aisy job carry- iSite roll chown yy bs But just then the string broke, and — —the roll of wire carried him, comicbooks.com ’ ga sir wa yo it, thi an