Judge — January 4, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

C uge ewano GILLAM. |. M. Greco PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. ONTTRD STATES AND CANADA IM ADVANCE, ‘One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks = = 1.25 = Including the Cumiststas Juoce. FORBIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all forcien cow in the postal union, $0.00 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE BuILDING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. BO We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satire cal paper published. The Jonox, Jvoe's Linnary and Jvvor’s Quarrarty are all for sale at Brentans's, Ip Aremne de FUpera. Parts: Smith. Ainaiog & Con 35 Newcastle tre ‘Lon. The International News Co, Breams Building. Chancery Lane, London: at Sa barh's News Bach 7 a Maine. Germany: The fs 2 News Con Stephanstrasse «8, Leipsic, land. Cable address— (47 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- ‘ght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. Lt THE PEOPLE of Chicago reflect that their loss is St. Louis's & THE NEW WOMAN will do the popping this year, and if the man refuses she will abduct him. oe WHAT ARE good resolutions when so many of our fellow- citizens begin the new year with a horn? WE LOOK upon the collision of Dunraven’s with another steamer as the result of a base con- spiracy. tae WHY ISN'T a judge who libels the innocent man at his bar as liable for damages as if he were a newspaper? [F MR. CLEVELAND keeps a diary it will necessarily be de- voted mostly to fish and ducks, and we sha’n’t believe it. see HE CZAREWITCH alone of the Romanoffs can afford to snap his fingers at the bomb-burst- ers. He is going to die of dissipa- Gn t ) Ahan = NO PRECEDENT. THE PROPHET of Elmira who says the judgmert will come on the first day of the year is too mean and too wrong for serious consider- ation, and we suspect him of mixing both his dates and his beverages. We never knew such a thing to happen at that time, BAD MAN. ERR AHLWARDT, who wants to unite the working classes of this country against the Jews, has the same feeling that inspires the Turks and Kurds to the killing of Armenians and other Christians. Has it occurred to him that people here have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of bappiness? A CRIME OF THE LAW. HE MAGISTRATE of this town who sent an innocent young girl to the penitentiary, to be the companion of brutes and to the sacrifice of her good name, was guilty of a crime for which there ought to be no for- giveness, and if the girl had not been rescued the magistrate or the city ought to have been liable in heavy damages. Let us be thankful, for the sake of peace, that the girl was not one of the Hannigan family, THE PENALTY OF MISFORTUNE. THE PRESIDENT of France married a young woman whose father was a defaulter, The child was not born till after the crime. Faure married her knowing the facts, declaring that she should not be made to suffer for sins for which she was in no way responsible; and now there is an effort to impeach him for that matter of justice. We have some pretty bad politics here; but it is better than that of the politicians who, hav- ing got over the Panama-canal busi- ness, propose a crime that is‘mean- er if not more villainous. THE SITUATION. THERE HAS as yet been no fight between Senator Chandler and the government of England, but the latter is now earnestly considering the demand of the senator for the passage of a second guard-ship. Meanwhile the senator, ably assist- ed by Don M. Dickinson, will keep a few eyes out to the condition of affairs in Cuba and Canada, and at the same time squint in the direc tion of Venezuela with the utmost patience and assiduity. Thus the opening of hostilities, notwithstand- ing the cavernous yawp of the gentleman from New Hampshire, tion, ET US at this season think and wish the best for all. Let us congratulate the living that they are alive and the dead that they have got out of a bad scrape. ANOTHER GOOD Way. First xprrox—"* Do you have any trouble with poets?” SkCOXD FDITOR—"" No; L simply kill ‘em right off.” ? Secony ¥prroR—"Accept the first poem they present and offer fiity dol- lars for it. ‘They usually drop dead on the spot from heart-failure. superin- duced by shock.” Fixst eprror— jat suppose they don't drop?” Seconp EDITOR—"* Why, then I simply pretend to reconsider the matter, and that finishes the toughest of “em,” will not come soon enough to in- terrupt the hilarity of the closing or the beginning of the impending year. SHAKE! THE FIRST RESOLUTION should be to the effect that the GRADUATE of Harvard, aged twenty-six, has eloped with a Boston banker's wife, aged forty; and yet they say that a college education fits a man only for foot-ball. IF THE BOSTON MAN who sent a hundred thousand dollars to his eloped wife and her lover is as glad as his money indicates he must be just a little this side of the heavenly mansions. A WOMAN who had her diamonds torn from her ears by a bad man while washing dishes has passed her first resolution for the glad new It reads, “ Resolved, that I will never wash another dish.” year, HE ENGLISH BRAIN has undergone a surgical aperation and the result is a proper appreciation of “Trilby.” But for the surgery the English wouldn't have known the O'Ferrall until they met her in a better world, RE THE POWERS convinced that the assassination of thousands of Christians is necessary to their respective interests and ambitions? ‘The complications are numerous and perplexing but the slaughter of the innocents is a hideous crime for which they are largely responsible, man will think the best thing possi- ble of himself and of his neighbors. That will lead him to behave himself and thereby to think better of the world, which is pretty bad, but, after all, which has never expected to be perfect and is really doing as well as it can, Egotism is not well, but self esteem means a tolerably good life in order to sustain that condition. We get more of our judgment from within than without, and if the origin of it is pure the charity that is wisdom follows as a natural result. Let us shake hands with the world, pronounce it a good thing, and sing and work and hope that it may be better in ‘ninety-six than ever it was before. JUDICIAL ADORATION OF ITSELF. $4Q)H. THE INJURY to the law!” sobbed Recorder Goff of this city. referring to a case of perjury which nearly resulted in sending a young man to prison for twenty years, and who was almost wholly re- sponsible for the verdict of the idiotic jury to that effect. “I have no sym- pathy for you""—glaring at the young man with unutterable hatred and contempt—" but oh, the injury to the law!” Some persons think the law was made somewhat for the individual who helps to pay the cost of it and who really doesn’t deserve to be convicted when he is innocent; but this man holds it to be higher than the angels and kisses his judicial robe every time he buttons it about his sacred form, no matter what innocence is convicted and what guilt goes free. oe t comicbooks.com|